Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Risperdal Consta Begone!

    Qui?

  • I found it hilarious and interesting yesterday that I got a comment yesterday from a foreigner with a French sounding name disparaging Americans and their proclivity for food.  Isn’t French cuisine supposed to be the bastion and watermark for world cuisine? lol  People are so interesting.   My grandmother used to always say if you ain’t got something good to say, then don’t say anything it all.  This would be a good comment guideline to live by for some people.

    Pictures of Kim…

  • Everybody wants pictures of Kim and I.  I am extremely scared to do this because of stalkers such as Marsha (who actually called my father’s pharmacy trying to reach him) reading my blog.  Kim is actually not her real name – just a name I use for her for blog purposes.  I have already revealed too much with saying we both work at Walmart and she works at the Jewelry counter.  One of my stalkers could easily drive to town or cause her problems by calling work if I used her real name or posted a picture.  It is a dangerous Catch-22 for me.  I have also never posted pictures of George and gang, or Mrs. Florene for the very same reason.  I once posted a picture of Clara, the homeless lady I wrote about, and Rosa and it was a terrible mistake to do.  I got a lot of disparaging remarks on how ugly Rosa was and it deeply hurt my feelings.

    Blog Advice…

  • My comment section on this blog is rife with advice and it can be dizzying to know what to do.  So much advice about my eating and drinking habits.  Medications.  Psychiatric care.  I know it is all well meaning, but I am easily swayed by people much like a child being taught by a parent.  For so long, I have been told by my parents how to live life that it can be hard for me to chose my own course.  I want to please everyone and make them happy.  Dad says him and I both are people pleasers and we need to work on this.

    No More Risperdal Consta…

  • This morning marks the first Tuesday in almost six years that I do not get my injection of anti-psychotic on the ole derrière.  I am kind of nervous wondering how I will feel come late afternoon today as my medication levels continue to drop from 6mg to 3mg a day.  I am also going to miss that feeling of intense euphoria I would get after every injection.  It was my one last guilty pleasure on the addiction front other than caffeine.  Dad remarked last night that he is extremely wary of how I will do – very worried I will have a psychotic break.  Let’s hope for the best and hope I do fine.

    Where did the Bulimia Go?

  • One of my hardest addictions to break – much harder than alcohol – was my food addiction.  Most people in my life and on the blog never took this nearly as seriously as my tendency to drink too much alcohol.   It was much more likely to kill me and cause the most ill health effects.  I was malnourished for years.  I can now happily say that this month, I have finally gotten my bulimia under control.  I eat when I am hungry, but I can only eat small amounts at a time not to feel too full.  If I get too full, then it is disaster on the bulimia front.  I will purge – feeling this intense feeling of anxiety that I will get fat again.  I have learned to carefully control my food intake and I probably eat five or more small meals a day to combat my food addiction and the binging and purging.  Dad has been so proud of this and says he can see the nourishment of my body in my eyes, skin, and face. 

    A Break in the Weather…

  • It has been so intensely hot here.  The Weather Channel keeps making aspersions about global warming, but we are breaking records set back in the 80s when global warming wasn’t even on the radar.  According to recent scientific reports, all the planets are warming so it is just not an Earth related phenomenon.  Sometimes, I think the media and the powers that be always need to have a set of issues to keep us preoccupied, distracted, and worried.  America has constantly had foes to fight since last century – be it terrorists, Korea, Iran, the Russians, or the Germans.  Now, illegal immigration seems to be a growing concern and hot topic – on the radar so to speak.  I say let them in the country and put them legally to work to better our nation.  Haven’t we always been the melting pot of the world?  Our nation was founded on immigrants.

    Have you ever been in the dilemma of making too much money?

  • That’s the position I find myself in these days.  My yard care business is putting  me over the limit set by Social Security for “gainful employment”.  I have been in an ethical quandary about reporting this income to Social Security as I must do every month.  I have decided to lay off the yard care business and just concentrate on my more mainstream and controllable job.  I am not being lazy mind you, nor making excuses not to work.  I just have to be extremely careful when Social Security is concerned.  Also, my three year review is coming up soon.  I expect the paperwork in the mail at mom and dad’s any month now. I am not especially concerned now that I have learned I can support myself again, but my parents are in a frenzy over this knowing any day the ball could drop.  What if I am not actually mentally ill and was just chemically dependent for years?  Should I even be on disability?  It is an interesting question to ask and something that we are going to start exploring probably pretty soon as I will be deemed fit for a return to full time work.

9 comments:

justLacey said...

In the end this is your life to live and you will live it the way you see fit. Everyone has opinions. You don't have to follow them all, but sometimes someone will put something out there you haven't thought of yourself and it makes you think. You are doing pretty well on your own at this point so take it with a grain of salt. I never thought that posting a picture of Kim might cause her problems, but you could be right. I know you post pics of your family and might want to rethink that as well under the circumstances. What a shame that we even have to think that way! I think the reason people didn't worry as much about your bulimia is because you didn't talk about it as much. You are right that it can be a serious health issue. Live your life the Andrew way and enjoy your day.

Sharon said...

If you would prefer us to stop giving you advice, just say so and I for one will back off. I will continue to post however, to give you support and so you know that there are people who care. I respect you too much to step on your toes. It's your blog, you call the shots, we'll leave that in your hands - as it should be.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

I think you are wise concerning your stance on photographs and pseudonyms.

I hope you have a great day!

PipeTobacco
http://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com

李亦陳宏堯茵 said...

Learning makes life sweet.

pattycakes said...

you are making many great decisions , just keep on the way you are , all any of us are doing really is giving opinions , and something to think about :) you are doing so great . im sure you dad is thrilled . maybe some day you r mom can get off her many drugs too . have a good day and just know u are doing the very best you can . :)

Syd said...

Global warming is real. Take a look at the rise in temperature since records have been taken. It is the rise that has happened over the long term that is troubling. Oscillations in temperature are one thing but a stead rise over a hundred years is a problem. The ice caps are melting and will definitely affect sea water temperatures and sea level rise.

No photos sounds like a good idea. Best to not break anonymity.

Leigh Ann said...

I think you are doing great! I also think you are doing the right thing for now by not making too much money to lose your social security. You are only just beginning this journey of changing/stopping medications. I know you are unclear about what may have caused your issues, but you DID have issues. It is smart to give yourself several months, and see where all of this takes you. It seems that lots of times it takes some trial and error to get medications just right - finding the right medicines and the right doses. You are doing really well, and I would hate to see it backfire because you were forced to move to quickly into full-time employment. It seems that taking it slow and easy, increasing your workload little by little, has been working for you! I don't think anyone who has read your blog would think for one minute that you are taking advantage of the system. You are working toward being self-sufficient, and that is awesome. Doing so takes time, though!

Sorry, I know that is advice - lol!

Tee and Hubby said...

You are doing so well. Rather than looking at comments as people giving you advice, think of it as food for thought, or new ideas to ponder. Just remember, two minds are better than one. LOL!

Good move not posting photos of Kim and your other friends. People are crazy these days.

Good move on not going over on your legal limits of income. Hope that will help calm your mom and dad down with their anxiety about this situation.

Sharyna said...

I love this "closed" blog! It's like a bunch of friends. I just wouldn't mention my lawn care income. As long as they're paying you cash, keep it to yourself! Have you thought of putting a yard sign in your benefactor's yard? Now that you've got it looking so nice, why not advertise? Vistaprint can take care of yard signs too.