Sunday, July 11, 2010

Rediscovering My Masculinity…

I find it interesting that most of my readership is female.  I think it had a lot to do with my situation in life – being a person who was “sick” and dependent upon my parents.  I was a lot like a child – almost taking on a feminine, subdued persona.  I feel this fostered a motherly attitude in many of my female readers who tend to be older and parents themselves.  Women also tend to be more likely to read personal “day in the life” journals as well more than men.  Don’t get me wrong!  My readership is wonderful!  People like Granny, Mary K., and Lacey just make my day with their comments.  But I would like to have some fellows to read along and give me some interesting guy advice. Most of the advice I get on the blog is from a feminine point of view. 

What if returning to work and doing more male centric things like drinking a beer, pursuing women for relationships, working on my car (now that I have money to do so), writing of sex, notes on work, will foster a more male readership?  I can only think of two of my male readers off the top of my head and that is Syd and Pipe Tobacco.  Pipe Tobacco will often write of masculine things such as libations with his father in law, smoking pipes, and musings about automobiles. 

When I wrote regularly about the gang down at the Piggly Wiggly, I had a strong male following.  I also had a much more vibrant and vigorous readership.  My life was rough and tumble – very masculine and worldly.  As my life degraded into dependency on my parents, these male readers shied away.  I don’t think my life garnered much respect within male circles – being a coddled 30 something year old man without any control over his life.  Men respect independence, money making, strength, and a masculine centered life and attitude.  My life went from drinking beer, having lots of sex, cavorting with extremely interesting and lively homeless and vagrant people, to this milquetoast existence that would bore the average male to tears. It bored me to tears as well and I think this was a primary source and cause of many of my mental and emotional problems.  I felt like I had no reason to live anymore.  My life went from interesting and vibrant to sitting at home all day for years watching television, wallowing in self pity, and wasting time on the Internet pontificating endlessly about my mental and addictive problems on an online journal as my father took more and more control over my life.  I was playing the role of the sick, addicted, and dependent family member, and this role has been surprisingly hard to break away from.  I have been met with stone walls everywhere I turn.  I am feeling some supreme and extreme pressure within my family to return back to the old “safe” me as my father puts it.

The majority of the blogs I read are written by women. That’s not a bad thing.  It’s just that I would like some more male perspectives on life.  I don’t have many positive role models or at all that are male.  On the other hand, many of these women are wonderful writers with rich, interesting lives, though. Women seem to tend to be more “talkative”, “chatty”, and more regular journalers – sharing their lives with their female friends.  Also, rarely do I read a blog these days about beer or politics or electronics or cars and sex – all things men seem to like and enjoy.   Maybe just the whole art of regularly journaling about your life is a female centric thing, and just not that enticing to males (unless it’s about that completely boring topic politics when men foam at the mouth over it seems).

I don’t know, but it will be interesting to watch and see if I garner a more male following over the next few months as I write about working, making money, building a yard care business, fixing up my car, gaining a healthy sexual life (if I can get my medications sorted), and other more respect and masculinity building endeavors. I hope I don’t lose my female readership though.  I have grown to value you all so much over the years!  Keep giving me that female point of view so I will have a more balanced perspective!


glittermom said...

I dont think thats the case at all. I dont think many men are into talking about feeling,etc..Most guy blogs are nonsense. Not into discussing their life..Women are more likely to sympathize and have understanding into what you are going through.Maybe if you switch to sports talk or porn that might bring guys in.

Summer said... can count me out if you switch over to sports and porn. Haha! I think you are a talented writer and I would read your blog no matter the subject, with the exception of the aforementioned.

Working, building your own business, your love life, family, home, Maggie, trains, all your interests, interest me.

John Noble said...

I've been following your blog for a long time - yours is actually the only blog I follow pretty faithfully.

Why do I follow your blog? Probably for many reasons - the first being is that I think you write so well, so expressively - it is a writing style I enjoy. Your writing talent is a gift. Also, your lifestyle is one that is so different from mine, and I have an odd jealousy of a life holding relatively little responsibility. I also enjoy many of the things you like - the weather, pets...

Someday, I can see your blogs be put together and with a little editing, a great book could emerge. I remember you once talking about a book you were writing...

And, now that you have me commenting, I do have to say that your "sunset brews" scare the crap out of me. You have come so far, and playing with these seem so much like playing with fire for someone with such alcohol addition is the past. I sincerely hope you don't get burned...keep moving forward.

Syd said...

Andrew, I don't know what you tell you since I haven't chased any women in quite a few years. My blog is about recovery from living with an alcoholic so it is almost gender neutral. I do like cars and playing music though. I don't drink much, so I can't advise on the brews to try. I tend to drink Newcastle when I have a beer. As for lawn care, well I do have a John Deere small tractor that I like. It is good for cutting the seven cleared acres around the house. As far as life advice, I can't offer any other than to say that you are doing great with your work and your breaking free from dependency on your parents. Live life dude.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Just don't forget that you're a southern gentleman. Discussing your love life is one thing, but talking about your sex life is a completely different subject!

Remember how bothered you were when George got so obsessed with the porn sites on his computer? Unless you want to attract a bunch of porn geeks, discuss relationships, etc. not sex!

Sorry - had to be said!


PipeTobacco said...


I think you should feel free to discuss whatever it is that you are thinking about. If it is "The Price is Right" on television, or if it is a curtain you wish to buy or if it is about a new brand of beer or a cigar you had.... it does not matter... what matters is how you tell the story in your writing.


reaganalabama said...

You may have more male readers than you think! Yours is the *only* blog i follow, and that's because i've known you IRL in the past and enjoy your writing and your exploits. keep up the good work!

A. J. said...


I have been reading y our blog for years. I just don't comment as I have in the past.


Kevin said...

I've been reading your blog for years as well Andrew and recently added you on facebook. I have to agree with John on the "sunset brews" it seems like a lot of alcohol, i.e., two 40's is like a six pack. As someone who enjoys a drink after work I typically keep it to one or two drinks myself (24oz vs 80 is a huge difference). I understand you were an alcoholic for years and sounds kind of like a relapse if you already have that high of a tolerance. Please don't take offense to this. I think it is wonderful that you are doing what you want to do. My only suggestion is take it a bit easier on the alcohol.

Old Hippy said...

As a male 54 years old and just being reborn myself I find your blog and life is a lot like my own was. Currently on disability, 3weeks now without psych drugs after 15 years of use. Drinking less now than ever before.
Hear-Hear Brother ! I will keep reading you for sure.
Thats my feeble attempt at writing my story, give it a shot.
Namaste, Old Hippy