Thursday, July 8, 2010

All Hell Broke Loose…

“All hell broke loose after you left work yesterday,” my supervisor told me after I had clocked in this morning early at 7:30.Yesterday morning had been so slow so I was surprised at this revelation. “Things got frantic! The store got really, extremely busy after lunch and the guy that works second shift called in and said his car was broke down and he didn’t have a ride to work. I had to get one of the guys in the grocery department to help me bring carts in. He wasn’t too happy when his supervisor made him help. He felt is was beneath him and his normal job. He wasn't much help. I was so angry!  I tried to call you, but I kept getting a busy signal.  I wanted you to come back in.”

We walked outside and I surveyed the parking lot more carefully. It was going to be a very busy morning. There were carts scattered everywhere haphazardly and the parking lot is huge.  Bedlam! I was glad, though, in a way. I would stay busy and the four hours would pass by fast. I would later learn I was to work six hours to get things caught up we were so behind.  

“I may need for you to start working longer hours temporarily,” my supervisor told me. “Do you think you can handle it? The guy on second shift is proving to be not very reliable. I don’t trust him.”

“I think I can,” I replied a little apprehensively. 

“How does your mental disability affect you?” my supervisor asked very candidly out of true concern.

“I just have lots of anxiety when I get stressed or physically overdo things,” I replied honestly, but apprehensively.  “I have to be careful about my heart rate.”

“Well, if you can work till two today then I will really appreciate it,” she told me. “Your doing such a good job and I really need the help. I don’t want to put too much pressure on you all at once, though.  You can take as many breaks as you like as long as the job gets done.”

“Keep in mind that if I make too much money, it will affect my Social Security disability,” I told her assertively and ever worried about that.

“We’ll work on it,” she told me reassuring me. “I can understand your concerns about that. I’ll give you a few days off in a few days. I need your help right now really badly. I am trying to hire someone else to work the second shift that is a better worker. It is going to be kind of crazy until then, though.”

I finally said I could work the two extra hours. I was worried she was going to want me to work all day for eight or more hours and I had that yard care job to do this afternoon. I had told the man I was to work for this afternoon trimming his undergrowth that I probably wouldn’t be there until late in the afternoon anyway so that set my mind at ease some. I was hoping to miss the hottest part of the day before I started that exhausting and extremely hot job ahead of me.

It took me all morning to get caught up. I have to handle both sides of the store – the grocery side and the sundry side. Both doors and both cart stations. It was oppressively hot today.  I was a sweaty mess by noon. My clothes were wringing wet. The thermometer on the bank across the highway read 101 at 11am. The hours just flew by I was so busy much to my relief. I found myself lost in the work for hours on end. I had to take lots of breaks from the heat, though, this morning and afternoon. I quickly drank all the water in my cooler and then had to refill my water bottles inside from the bathroom sink. I wasn’t about to buy expensive bottled water when there was free water in the bathroom. The only thing I bought today was another bag of ice.

I was also really missing my Klonopin I normally take to make it through work. I really struggled with my anxiety today and I think it was because of the heat and with work being so hectic. I was saving them for this afternoon for a much harder job physically. I really can’t wait to take them. It will make the yard care job so much more pleasant as that wave after wave of calmness those pills impart envelope me. Comfortably numb comes to mind.  

Well, I am off to do my “real” job for the day – the hard job.  I so hope that anxiety doesn’t bother me.  I already feel better mentally and anxiety wise this afternoon.  I am about to take my two Klonopin which will help greatly and drive over to get started.  It is going to be a long, hot afternoon of hard taxing yard work.  This man’s yard is a mess.  I keep thinking of that $75 dollars I am going to get paid tomorrow when I finish to urge me on and keep me motivated. 


glittermom said...

I am proud you were able to handle the extra work and stress..Just dont take on more then you can handle..This is all new to you and might be too much too soon...take care..I'm sure everyone is rooting for you..

becomingkate said...

glad that things are going well!

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Do me a favor . . . go look in the mirror, smile and say, "Hello, Andrew - you certainly are doing a good job this week! You, Sir, are a success. Congratulations!"

That's what I'd say if I were there!

Love ya,

pattycakes said...

good job and you told her about how it makes you anxious to do too much at one time . most people cant even do that . congrats! you should be proud of yourself , and know this , most of us are very anxious in work situations also , y our not the only one ? i could never do half the stuff you do already lol keep up the good work and dont forget to give maggie a hug and a nice walk even short ones she will love

Syd said...

You are doing great! Good for you with the two jobs. And for taking it easy when you needed.

PipeTobacco said...


I am extremely happy for you! First, you seem so content and joyful in your new roles. Second, I am very happy you are having your WalMart boss keep aware of the specific limit to the number of hours you can work safely for your SSDI requirements. And, third, your ability to work through some anxieties and have a great outcome... especially with the additional hours.

Bravo! Bravo indeed!!!

If today is the day you will be talking face-to-face with your father (I forget what day he will be arriving home.), keep in mind the idea that YOU can be moderate in your tone and discussion whether or not others in the conversation are. And, consider seeing if you can speaking to him in the presence of your Mom as well. It seems that she may be able to be a calming advocate to have... and three people often typically can have a more calm discussion than two may in times of challenge.


Summer said...

Bravo is the word of the day!

I wonder if the physical demands that you are making on yourself will help with your anxiety and hopefully you won't have to rely on the klonipin. Just a thought.

How did the yard work go this afternoon?

C.A. said...

I thought of you yesterday as I watched the cart man at my local Walmart almost get totally run over by a young kid with stereo blasting. He had to hustle and did get clipped by the car! I felt so badly for the cart man. You be careful in your rounds, my friend.

I am so very proud of all you've taken on and impressed with how well you're doing.

Keep up the good work. Stand tall and stand firm with your Father.



Cin said...

I am really glad to hear that you are doing so well Andrew! :)