What could I do to feel better? I’ve tried nutrition this week. I’ve tried good sleep. I continue to smoke like a smokestack. I just want some peace. Is that too much to ask? I just want to sit in my lazy boy for hours on end and watch TV comfortably. I am so miserable right now. I’ve tried playing mind games. I know I am lucky to be alive. I know I am blessed. I could be homeless and experiencing this. I could be wandering the streets aimlessly and in anguish. I have so much empathy for what homeless mentally ill people must be going through – to be tortured by their minds and to not have a bed to lay in. I am off to continue to fight to get better. Maybe if I spend some time on this computer it will distract me and help. I just want to sit and be. To be at peace. I want peace of mind first and foremost.