Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Quest for Klonopin…

I was over at mom and dad’s at lunchtime when Charlie pulled up in dad’s Ford  F-150 truck which was filled with antique furniture.  I was standing outside knocking on the backdoor to no avail.  It was as if no one was home. I knew they were there. I was on a quest for Klonopin and my daily medications.  I didn’t want any anxiety whatsoever today and was going to nip it in the bud by taking my medications early if I could convince dad I needed them. 

“You can never get them to the door of that big damn house,” Charlie said excitedly and emotionally. “Here, let me try to call your father to get him to the door. He better answer that damned phone of his.”

Charlie’s cell phone rang and rang with no answer from dad.  Charlie started to bang on dad’s bedroom window anxiously and impatiently.  I went down around the side of the house to ring the doorbell several times.  All their cars were there.  The BMW was in the garage along with mom’s Honda Civic, and dad’s Honda CR-V was parked outside in the driveway. 

“What are you doing over here?” Charlie asked me patting me on the knee affectionately as we finally sat on the back porch hoping someone would finally open the backdoor. 

“I’m here for my medications and I hope it doesn’t piss dad off,” I replied. “I’m treading dangerous waters I fear.”

“Why would he be pissed?” Charlie asked looking stymied. “It will save him a trip tonight before going to the pharmacy.  You would think he would be glad you want your medications for a change without being forced to take them.”

“He just gets perturbed when I ask for them early sometimes,” I replied. “It’s like he doesn’t want to be bothered with it.  I never really actually know how dad is going to react. It all depends on what kind of mood he is in.”

Finally, the backdoor was opened.  Dad was very glad to see us, calling us the welcoming committee, and walked out to his car with me to get my medications.  He wasn’t pissed. Just concerned that I wanted them so early.  He felt I would take too much Klonopin all at one time having taken my lunchtime dose.  That was my goal.  I just wanted to relax today. I wanted that mellow gold feeling that only three Klonopin can impart. 

“I’ve been cleaning crystal in the front of the house and didn’t hear all the commotion,” he told me as we walked back up the driveway to the house. “That’s something Helen doesn’t do well. She leaves streaks.”

“Goddammit John,” Charlie exclaimed and stammered when we got back inside the house. Charlie was standing in the den looking red faced.  “Answer your goddamned phone!  And answer the goddamned door!”

We all laughed nervously at Charlie’s candidness.  Charlie was just a little pissed.  He says this happens all the time to him.  Dad and Charlie will often argue like close brothers would do. 

I waited my thirty minutes for my medications to take effect.  Charlie was talking a mile a minute about some antique furniture he wanted to sell dad and my sister. Dad wasn’t too impressed with what was on the back of the truck.  I called Charlie Sanford and Son and he laughed.. I was also just glad to be sitting in mom and dad’s cool house as the ceiling fan above blew down upon us – a safe, comforting zone for me.

On the way home, I ran over a squirrel.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I realized I had taken a life.  I don’t know why I got so emotional.  It was just a damned squirrel.   Maybe it was the medications coursing so newly through my veins.  I felt better when I arrived home and Maggie jumped up in my lap as I sat down in my Lazy Boy.  Maggie’s been extremely abnormally affectionate today and it has warmed my heart. I love it when she gets like this.

The rest of the day has been a relaxing day of weather watching, TV, Internet, and Coast to Coast AM.   I am so sore from last night I didn’t feel like doing much today.  It hurts to move.  Getting out of this chair is laborious..  Charlie really worked the shit outta me last night and yesterday evening.   

1 comment:

KathyA said...

Glad your dad answered the door, you got your meds, and you were able to enjoy the comfort of your family home.

About the squirrel -- these things happen, Andrew. You didn't mean to hurt that squirrel. Think of it this way: that squirrel was probably suicidal. (That's what I tell my kids when something like that happens).