Friday, June 25, 2010

The Feeder Extraordinaire…

Mrs. Florene brought by a half a pan of homemade lasagna and some cheesy toasted garlic bread last night.  She was in good spirits and extremely talkative – very glad to see me.  We haven’t seen each other in days.   She said she had made the lasagna for George’s cousin, Monte – his favorite meal of hers.  She and him ate half and she brought the rest to me after dinner.  I cringed at her driving at her age, but she has little choice without George.  The Skylark is actually getting some use these days.  I wish she would just hire Monte to drive her around as I am unable.  I feel scared to go out of the house lately – that old agoraphobia ever strong and the anxiety keeping me crippled.  So, I am munching on delicious lasagna this morning.  Mrs. Florene makes hers with sausage instead of ground beef and it is very different from mom’s, but good.  Maggie was thrilled to see her and put on a big show -- lavishing her with attention and affection.  I was just glad my house was clean after getting guests.  I had put some effort into it yesterday to get the house presentable with an old friend in town from Nicaragua.  I actually felt up to it for a change.

Dad was really quiet last night and it worried me.  He had worked a 12 hour day, though, and was probably just exhausted.  I tend to project emotion upon myself and others.  I thought he was mad at me at first.  He was kind of surly and abrupt.  He had brought me cigarettes and I worried the cost had made him angry.  I realized the absurdity of it all when he yawned very vigorously and said he couldn’t wait to get in the bed and settle into his night time routines.  He was just tired.  It was 10:30pm after all. He had been at work since 9am. I had also washed my hair, dried it, combed it, and dressed up extremely nicely for him hoping he would notice, but he didn’t say a word.  Sometimes, no words are better than bad and negative words.  I probably couldn’t have taken him telling me I looked like death last night as he did a few weeks ago.

Dad did remark on how warm I am keeping my house.

“It is hot in here,” he said last night as we watched Moonlight. “Maggie is panting.”

“I stay cold all the time,” I told him.  “Earlier in the day, I had the heat set on 83 and I still had on a hoodie as I lay in the bed under my comforter trying to get warm.”

“You have always been cold natured,” he said, dismissing anything more wrong with me. “Your heating bill in the winter is always atrocious.”

How are you feeling?  I feel okay this morning – kind of blah and indifferent.  I slept well as usual.  I always sleep well these days which is nice.  I look forward to watching my favorite TV shows today.  I have been watching entirely too much TV lately with little else to do.  The Internet can only capture my attention for so long. 

Maggie is kind of getting on my nerves with her incessant barking this morning.  Something has really gotten her riled up.  Many of my neighbors are walking to work this time of the morning as I keep seeing them strolling by the house.  Most don’t have cars in this poor neighborhood.  This keeps Maggie busy in her efforts to be the supreme protector of me and home.  I am listening to Coast to Coast AM right now out of Apple Valley, California – the high desert.  The numerology lady is on which I don’t like, but I am still listening with nothing else to listen to this time of the morning.  I am anxiously awaiting the next segment when she goes off.  I don’t put much stock in numerology.   


forsythia said...

You can always count on the numerology lady to be annoying. :-)

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Glad to hear that Mrs. Florene is making sure you have good food. She's so sweet!

I'm also glad that dad didn't have reason to complain last night! You did great by cleaning up and being neatly dressed for him.

I was awakened at 4am by Dixie and Rascal. Seems we were being invaded by a killer armadillo and they were determined to bark it to death!! It took me 30 minutes to get those two back in the house - and two angry neighbors have already called. Oh well, at least they got some exercise!

Have a fun Friday!

Anonymous said...

You can always count on your dad to make you feel like crap, no matter what's going on with him, tired or not.

Remind him it's YOUR money you are spending on cigarettes or electricity and if he doesn't like it, he can hand over the money chore to SOMEONE ELSE.

Here's where you say, "Anonymous commenters just want to hurt me." To that I say, BULLSHIT. The anger I feel is towards your stupid father. The frustration is at you for not sticking up for yourself.

You don't have any problems bitching about it but you never DO anything about it....then you wonder why it bothers someone who reads your blog.

Is sweet sugary posts what you crave? Ok, Andrew, here ya go...

Oh Andrew, how nice of miss Florene to bring you food. How wonderful it is that your father took time out of his busy schedule to come to your house and help you take your medication. Isn't it just dandy that you feel the need to dress up for him or else face his wrath? Yeah, It's great, huh?!

How sweet and kind of him to remind you once again how much he does for you and how much money you overspend all the time. Lets not forget the other day when he made you promise to take your pill at noon and not get "drunk" on them. Wasn't that just peachy keen? You can always count on family to be there for you when you're down and out!

What a wonderful, loving, kind hearted, dedicated father you have!
We should all be so lucky...


Leaking Moonlight said...

I second your vote on the numerology lady. No thank you.

Lasagna hugs back at you, Andrew. (I am jealous.)

brain_disorders said...

I feel scared to get my foot out of the house too. The outside world is just too overwhelming and the inside comfortable and I am aware of my surroundings (if that makes sense).

Rebecca said...

Hi, Andrew. It's been a while since I've checked in on your blog. It sounds like you are hanging in there!!

Rose said...

The homemade lasagna and cheesy garlic bread sound absolutely delicious. Makes me hungry reading about it!

I have a tendency as well to project my emotions on others as well. I have had to really work on myself to seperate my emotions from my perceptions of others emotions.

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I have three words for you:

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