Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Beaming with Pride…

“Let me look at you!” dad said during my trip to get my diet cokes. “You look so good!  You look nice with that shirt on and your khaki pants.”

I was just beaming with pride.  This made me so happy for him to say this in such a way.

“I’m going to be a rat’s ass!” dad told me. “We are getting you cleaned up and back in school!”

4 comments:

Mary E. said...

This still makes me uneasy, your dad controlling your life. What about schizprhenia makes you not take care of yourself?

Andrew said...

Mary E., I don't see it as controlling -- as helping. I was not taking good care of myself. A friend of the family told dad I looked like I was dying. This sent up alarm bells within the family.

I guess it can best be described as a malaise or apathy. I just lost the will to live or take care of myself. I think this happens with a lot of homeless mentally ill people as well -- causing them to be ostracized and scorned. They just don't have family to step in and help -- and I just see dad as helping. He just wants to see his oldest son do well and to live a good life. I certainly don't see anything wrong with that. That's what families should do. Sorry for preaching.

impromptublogger said...

I haven't written in a while but I'm sorry that you've had such a rough time of it. This illness is such a stealer of lives!

I'm glad to hear that you are starting to come out of it and hopefully with the new support your Dad is providing and a med overhaul you will be back to your functioning sassy self.

Andrew said...

impromptu, thank you and bless your heart. I really am feeling much better. Today, I am playing mindgames with myself -- the prisoner mindset. I am playing a game wherein I am a prisoner in my own home and must preoccupy myself. I am finding myself online more and taking a more active blogging life again. Bless your heart and I hope this finds you well!