Sunday, May 9, 2010

Shaky is the Word for the Day…

“You’re still not feeling up to snuff are you son?” dad asked after opening their back door and me telling dad I was feeling unwell.

I couldn’t get mom and dad on either phone and knew they were home.  I drove over to get my medications early hoping that would calm me as it usually does.

“I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin!” was my reply.

Dad had been cooking a brunch of bacon and biscuits.  He fixed me a plate and told me to sit down and eat a bite.  He then walked out to his car to get my medications in their blister packs which he keeps in the trunk of his Honda.

“What’s wrong?” mom asked, walking into the kitchen in her nightgown.  “You look pained.”

“Oh, it’s just my typical mental illness bullshit,” I replied. “It’s a curse I have to bear.”

Mom hungrily fixed a plate of bacon and biscuits, and sat down with me to eat. 

“Here. Take this,” dad said upon arriving back inside.

He handed me my handful of medications and I took them.

“You will get to feeling better in thirty minutes.”

“I hope so,” was my weak reply.

“What’s Maggie been doing?”

“Oh, she was still in the bed when I left the house.”

“It’s a dog’s life,” dad said laughing.

“She will be going strong about my bedtime no doubt,” I replied with a weak laugh.

Suddenly, my head began to swim and I felt dizzy.  My heart began to pound.

“I’ve got to lie down!”

I lay on the couch for thirty minutes while mom asked me a hundred questions.

“Jesus! Mom! I don’t feel well!” I finally exclaimed.

“How do you feel now after thirty minutes?” dad asked.

“I feel like I can drive home now,” I replied as I sat up to put on my shoes.

“You will feel better in about thirty more minutes,” dad said. “Give your medications time to take effect.”

“It’s my fault,” mom said internalizing the problem.  “You got my terrible genes.  I shouldn’t have had children.”

I sighed.  I just wanted to get home and lie down for a few hours.  Quiet solitude is what I sought out the most.  I realized going over to get my medications was a bad idea.  Dad is hard of hearing and the television was turned up super loud.  Mom was asking me a thousand questions as is her usual custom.  Mom’s cat was hungry and was crying loudly.  The phone was ringing and ringing and nobody was answering it for fears dad would have to make a run to the pharmacy for a customer.   Argghhh!  I was so glad to get home and on my bed where the only sound was that of Maggie snoring softly as she snoozed in my warm covers. 


This IS The Fun Part! said...

Sleep well, Andrew - it's just another dang bump in the road! I'm sure it seems like a mountain right now - - but I know that you can deal with it. Remember how good it can be and just work forward toward that goal!

Love ya,

forsythia said...

I hear you. Take it easy today.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Love ya, thinking good thoughts for ya and hoping that you and Maggie are just hangin' out!


kristi said...

Oh Andrew, my son would drive you crazy! Hell, he drives me crazy with his non stop talking and screaming and well...being a boy!

Peg said...

You didn't post today. So unlike you. I hope you're doing better. Thinking good thoughts for you. -- Peg

Anonymous said...

Hope you're doing okay. You'll get through this.
Take care - Terri

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Don't forget to hug your "wife", Maggie - she loves you! I do, too. Hang in there, Andrew - we'll be here when you're ready for us!

Love ya,

Joy Heather said...

Andrew, im so sorry you are having a bad time...i haven't been on your blog for a couple of days as my daughter is up visiting & we have been out a lot. Its 6.44am over here, and i've got some much needed peace, so i decided to look up a few blogs. The sort of days you are experiencing are miserable..try and relax and chill with Maggie, i hope you feel much better very soon, ake Care..hugs to you both, Joy