Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Charlie’s New Cat

Charlie brought my medications last night.  Charlie also brought some diet Cokes and a fried shrimp plate from Merl’s diner.  He was in a super mood and was just laughing and laughing.  Dad is still having issues with his new computer system and had the tech guys at the store last night after closing. 

“I’ve got a new cat,” he said. “For a few weeks, he has made himself at home.  Yesterday, he showed up with a collar with a bell on it.  It seems he has two homes now.”

I laughed. It would be just Charlie’s luck.  The cat is a vagabond going where the grass is greener.  Charlie just laughed and laughed about it – so surprised when the cat showed up with a collar.   He had thought the cat was a stray.

Maggie Goes to the Veterinarian in the Morning

I really owe a lot to my mother for helping with Maggie’s care.  As expensive as it is, my mother has no qualms about spending money on Maggie or our pets and she is very cheap with her money when she is not on a manic high.   My veterinarian says Maggie won the Georgia lottery when she came to live with us.  Well, Maggie has continued to scratch and scratch.  Mom is obsessing that Maggie has allergies.  We have a lot on the agenda for Maggie in the morning at ten.  She is to be checked for allergies by the vet, get her teeth cleaned, get her annual checkup, and we are getting her a new tag saying she is mine for her collar.  Her old tag has my late grandmother’s address and phone number on it. 


It seems I am cycling as far as my mental illness is concerned.  I had another attack last night and I think the three diet Cokes I drank triggered it.  My body is so sensitive.  I got extremely hot despite it being very cool in my house.  My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour.  I felt this extreme sense of butterflies in my stomach.   I lay down and prayed it would pass soon.  It is such a disconcerting feeling – a feeling of being out of control and out of body.  I also get to feeling I can’t breathe or swallow and that just exacerbates the panic.  I have to breathe deeply and do my best to calm down.  Half of the battle is mental and not physical. 

Mrs. Florene is in the Pits

Mrs. Florene called me last night lamenting the fact that she has no life now that George is gone.  She sounded so depressed.

“Baby?  Why won’t you come and eat breakfast with me every morning?” she asked me making me feel so guilty.

“Mrs. Florene, It is my social anxieties,” I replied honestly.  “I have trouble getting out of the house some days.   It is not you I assure you.  I love you.”

I had taken the Skylark for a repair estimate yesterday morning and they want $500 dollars to fix Mrs. Florene’s car.  I scoffed.  I’ve bitten off far more than I can chew I fear as far as getting this estimate is concerned.  I will have to hunt around for more estimates to get her a good price.  The thought of doing all this just sends my anxieties reeling.  Dad would have a fit if he knew I took this upon myself. 


Jules said...

("I got extremely hot despite it being very cool in my house. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour"............)

It's probably menopause. Don't worry. I have the same symptoms ;)

Good Morning Andrew!

Anonymous said...

hi andrew...i can relate to all the things going on with your panic attacks. the last major one i had i was in a store and had to go to the car because i was nervous that i would faint. i do not get them very often but when i do they are dandys. i am glad that you spoke up for yourself to mrs, florene that you cannot to over there every day. i hope that things went well with maggie with her going to the vet. i hope that you have a good day and can find some little joys in your day. liz

Joy Heather said...

Hi andrew..Sorry to read your Anxieties are playing up again..hope you feel better soon. Poor Mrs Florene, its awful to feel old and so alone, things are viewed differently with age..i think she just wants your company because you are Georges friend as well..she must miss him so much..I have felt so very depressed the past few weeks myself..are there any clubs or anything for the elderly in your area that you could maybe take her to, to help her feel less lonely ?..i truly believe lonliness breeds depression, especially in elderly folk..and that can be a downward spiral...Dont get me wrong i know you cant do much when you feel so anxious yourself..but i KNOW you would be devastated if anything bad happened to her..maybe you could check the phone book for O.a.p.s clubs in the area ??..there are lots in my town, i do some voluntary work in them sometimes ( its like the blind leading the blind as i'm no youngster myself,LOL.. but most of them are quite a lot older)..and i know what a life line they are to some poor lonely souls...Hugs to you & Maggie...Joy