Friday, May 7, 2010

Mental Health Woes and Homeless Ideation…

“You can’t drive when you are like this,” dad told me the other day as he yanked my car keys from my hand.  “You are outta your gourd as far as your mental illness is concerned.  You don’t even know what day of the week it is.”

I was busily packing up my car with all the things I needed to live successfully on the few thousand acres of land my family owns.   I had put so much in the car that you couldn’t see out the rear view mirror and back window.   I was going live homeless in the woods where no one could find me or bother me – my social anxieties had been screaming for a break from life for days.   I was also extremely delusional my father told me.  “You were making up some wild and convoluted stories that just did not make sense.” 

Wednesday rolled around and dad and I sat in my psychiatrists office.  Dad went on and on about how I always want to be a homeless man when I get very mentally ill. 

“He says he is going to live off the land!” dad told the doctor excitedly. “He says he is tired of people and just wants to escape.”

“I suggest we hospitalize him to get him stable,” Dr. K told my father.

“No! No! No!” I exclaimed as I interjected and started to get up and leave.  “You’re not putting me in the psych ward for a few weeks where I can’t smoke.”

A compromise was reached where dad would come by every morning and give me an extra 3mg Risperdal on top of the six milligrams I was already taking at night.  That did the trick.  I felt better and better yesterday and am now back to normal now.  Now comes the arduous task of unpacking my car.  I literally got so much junk in my car that you wouldn't believe it.  I was going to be one of the most best equipped homeless men in the state.  

16 comments:

skinny minny said...

glad you have a dad who cares and takes notice and then acts on it in your behalf. I was very worried about you. Like Pipe tobacco I saw the strange blogging post that got taken down. It had me thinking and praying about you. I am glad that your doctor and your dad listened to your protests and came up with a workable compromise. I always wish I actually knew you and lived close enough to be a friend in need. You are always such a friend to those around you and I know they would be to you too but it seems your social anxieties get in the way of them being able to be there and help you the way you are for them.
Glad you are ok and getting to feeling better. take care.

Happyone :-) said...

I'd been wondering why you haven't been posting lately. Glad to hear things are getting better again.
Take care!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Andrew, we have missed you terribly and are sooo happy to read that you are back among the land of the living. Thank you for posting this morning! I know that this might not be the right time to say this, but I have wanted to tell you this for a long time. The day will come, Andrew, when you will want to write a book about your journey to wellness. It may not be now, but some day. And when that day comes, you will want to re-read these blogs and include some of them in the book(s). So if there is a way, please save these last ten years of posts onto disks. You never know what tech glitch will affect blogspot down the road and it would be a shame to have this beautifully written record of your journey deleted. One more thing ... please know that we love you and pray for you.

Beth said...

I wondered if this was happening -- it did at least once before since I've been reading. You seem to cycle. Glad your folks recognize this and take you to get help. My daughter is having a hard time too -- we spent last evening in the ER for a huge panic attack and she was seeing all sorts of things, none of them comforting. And it's not even a full moon! So take care of yourself and Maggie, and stay snug in your little house. We do care about you!

Sharon said...

I'm sorry that you went through this, but I'm glad you're back. Your Dad obviously loves you a great deal, he wants you to be happy and healthy and is willing to do all he can to help you. Thank goodness you seem to be on the right track at the moment. I know the whole social thing is an issue for you but truthfully there are many of us out here who, sight unseen, care about you and your well being. Take care of yourself, we're rooting for you!

Leaking Moonlight said...

Welcome home. You were missed.

Mary K said...

((((hugs))))
I'm glad you're okay, my friend. So glad.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

I missed you too, Andrew! It is so hard to be so far away and know that the only comfort I can offer is words and warm thoughts. You mean so much to me and have taught me more than you know.

Breathe easy - love Maggie - and remember - there are a lot of us out here thinking of you and hoping that you will weather this storm.

I think Dad has proven his love for you yet again. He didn't force you to do what the doctor suggested. He worked his schedule so that you can stay home, be where you're comfortable and still get treatment and get better. He is doing this out of love.

I love ya, too!
Grannie

Anonymous said...

Andrew:
You are fortunate to have wonderful family and friends that care so much about you. I'm really glad you are back to blogging - I love reading you!!!!
Terri

Berryvox said...

Glad you're better now. I saw the word salad too and knew something was going on. I almost commented on the post to point it out but you had deleted it by then and I figured you or somebody else had realized the mental illness was acting up. I probably should have said something anyway.

Joy Heather said...

I am so glad you are feeling better again Andrew..I was really worried, i didn't see the post that some folk have mentioned..but when you dont blog, i know there is probably something wrong. I think these comments speak for themselves..you have a LOT of folk who love & care for you, we may not be able to be there for you physically, but lots of folk care about how you are from day to day. its good to know you have lovely parents who care for you, and a Doctor who understands as well....Take Care my friend, Love & huigs to you & Maggie...Joy

(M)ary said...

Wouldn't you be lonely out in the woods by yourself? Maybe you need a cabin out there where u can visit when the mood hits. But of course, take a computer so u can update your blog!

Lottie said...

After not posting on Wednesday, I knew something was up. You have been at the top of my prayers this week. You are blessed to have a family that recognizes when things aren't right. So glad you are feeling better... you have been missed, my friend!

Summer said...

I know it can be hard at times. I know you can't always be in control. I hope that what your father and doctor have done for you is ok and that you are agreeable. You were missed. Feel better soon.

kristi said...

Missed you!!! Glad you are better.

Jenn said...

I was wondering where you'd gone to! I'm glad you're feeling better. I don't envy you this disease at all. It sounds like hell on earth.