Monday, May 31, 2010

Got Gas???

“Have you got gas?” my mother just called and asked very seriously.

All I could think of was intestinal gas and started to laugh giddily – never letting a good bathroom joke pass me by.

“Thankfully, no,” I replied. “I don’t have gas.”

“Not that kind of gas, silly!!!” mom exclaimed. “Your father is going to fill up his car and I thought you might need gasoline as well.”

I met dad at Fat Albert’s.  He was surly and serious.

“I am worried about you,” he said. “This bulimia deal is driving me nuts!!!”

It pissed me off.  There is always some kind of drama involving me and my father and it gets old.  I quietly got in my car and drove home without getting gas.  Dad called me on his cellphone.

“What happened???” he asked cluelessly. 

“I am tired of that kind of shit every time I see you,” I replied.  “I am tired of these emotional and mental games you play with me.  I came home to go back to bed.”

He hung up the phone and I am going back to bed. 


justLacey said...

I know it takes time to adjust to new meds, but maybe the Zyprexa dosage is to high and will need to be adjusted. I can't imagine sleeping my days away and just eating and purging in my waking hours. I am curious to know if your have spoken with your dr. about the side effects and what he says. I know it can be hard to find the drug that works best for you and it may take weeks or months.
I have missed your daily musings, but I understand you being quiet lately and I am glad to know that you are status quo for now at least. Take care and I hope things are better soon.

Leann said...

I am sorry to hear that you are at odds with your father again. I know how that affects your moods.

Plz know I am thinking of you and don't blame you at all for not wanting to sleep all of the time.

I had no idea that George was back in jail. That sucks for him. He was doing so well there for a bit after he came home. His mom must be very sad.

Take care Andrew.

Mary K said...

I am so sorry that you're having a tough time of it. I'm thinking about you.
In the meantime, enjoy the weather. We're having a lovely storm here right now.

Anonymous said...

Why haven't you written this past week? Did your dad force you to go to a psychiatric ward to get you stabilised on your new meds? Is that why you are so irrationally angry at him? Look on the bright side- at least he still allows you to drive your car!! He could legally sell it and buy you an adult tricycle instead. Then you wouldn't have to depend on him for gas any more. Now I realise why he still lets you drive!

Beth said...

I am so sorry that the Zyprexa has led to the bulimia again -- I was afraid that would happen, and I hope you're talking to your psych doc about it.

I believe that your dad is afraid for you -- the long-term effects of bulimia are devastating and very serious, and will undermine your efforts to get better. He wants to keep you safe above all, I believe, and is desperate in his attempts to do so. Doesn't mean he's right to talk about a home, but I understand the desire for less drama and safety for the people he clearly loves.

I'm glad you called him on it, regardless. And I hope you will talk to the doc about your meds and their effects. It is such a crap shoot to get the meds adjusted and right.

One day at a time.

forsythia said...

He's worried about you. All he said was that he was worried about you and it was driving him nuts. Your readers are worried about you too.

kristi said...

My nephew is in prison and I am pretty much the only one who writes to him. Try to type George a letter once a week or so! :)

NellJean said...

If you are not up to writing to George, why not print your blog posts and mail to him?

Please comment again on Abilify. Someone with whom I speak on the phone is taking it and doing fairly well with it.

Most of us care about you and all those in your world there.

PipeTobacco said...


I sadly figured you were under the "spell" of the Zyprexa. You will grow used to sleeping all the time, as it seems your mother has (at least from what you have stated before).

It is going to be a difficult challenge to "wake up from your sleep" as you learn to enjoy the bliss of sleep. Most people in a sleep state such as this will remain in it for a long, long time because they are not awake for a long enough to want to get it changed.

I suspect that you and your mother will remain sleepy and content for a very long time now.

Try to resist the temptation to engage in bulimic behavior. Weight gain/loss is not an issue. If you eat the food, let your body digest it.


Anonymous said...

His father isn't worried about him, are you nuts? If his father really cared, he's show it in his actions. He continually tries to drug this man with meds. Andrew even called him on the games he plays. His father hung up because he knows it's true.

His father can't control him and THAT IS WHY it's driving him nuts. That and it's costing him more money to buy more groceries.

As far as "asking his doctor" anything, his father SITS IN on the conversations he has with his doctor! Andrew cannot confide in his own doctor and even if he could, I'm sure the doctor would tell his father.

If you all cared as you say, you'd write to social services and have his father removed as Andrews guardian. I get sick at the way you all sugar coat everything! Why doesn't this sh*t make you angry?!

But I'm sure you all will just continue to pacify him and "wish him well" and "worry" about him.

Andrew can't help himself. His family is hurting him. It's time we all step in.

I'm writing a letter. What will the rest of you do?

Sharon said...

Ananoymous, walk a mile in his Dad's shoes and then see how you'd react. We know his Dad's controlling nature hurts Andrew but bravo for him sticking up for himself. However, even Andrew would admit that based on past history his Dad's afraid things could get as bad as they once were. Andrew has shared some of that with us, but I'm sure there's more we're not aware of. As much as we hate to see his Dad trying to control him the flip side is that his father most likely feels helpless and that's part of why he acts the way he acts. I'm not making excuses for his Dad's behavior, I'm just saying that unless Andrew asks for help, all that's appropriate for us to do is to remind him that we care and are worried about him, and let him reach out if or when he feels he needs to.

forsythia said...

Anonymous, Here's what I will do. I will continue to visit Andrew's blog and wish him well. I wish the dad well, too, and believe me, I've been in his shoes far longer than I want to be. I think I'm probably 10 years older than Andrew's dad, but "it" gets old and I'm getting old. You hope things settle down before you kick off, but these illnesses go up and down and round and round. It's a horrid merry-go-round, but it is what it is. I agree with Sharon. You don't know the half of it. Good luck with getting social services to do anything. They have bigger fish to fry--cases of gross neglect and abuse, for instance. This ain't it.

Becky said...

i so miss your gratitude postings..watching you come up w/things to Be grateful was very inspiring

Becky said...

i so miss your gratitude postings..watching you come up w/things to Be grateful was very inspiring

Jopan said...

Sleeping all days not the answer matey i think this drug is not the one for you, although i'm sure you know this better than anyone. Perhaps your perfect drug is around the corner, eh? And yes i think there's a selfish reason for my writing this... I love to read your daily posts, and i miss them.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Hi Andrew!

We need some input from ya! We're getting so desperate, we are actually starting to talk to each other through comments!

Love ya & miss ya,

Jane said...

Even control freaks need a break now and then........give your dad a break, Andrew. Sounds like he needs one!
If your friend George called you today to come over his mom's house for a free Big Mac and fries, you'd make it. Wrtie your friend a letter, Andrew. Quit using your mental illness to excuse your character defects.
I wish you well.....and I hope that someday you grow up.