I’ve felt so nervous lately. I am so fearful of those anxiety attacks and the nervousness surrounding them can build upon itself. Today, I got so excited and nervous about getting my Blu-Ray player that I felt sick afterwards. Mom has left and I had to go lay down in the bed for awhile. My mental illness is a strange beast and can effect me so physically. I have these extremely strong physical and mental reactions to anything out of the ordinary. Dad says that’s why mom and I need to live quiet lives. We can’t take much.
Mom is out and about today. She asked me to go clothes shopping for her and I. I just couldn’t do it. She was so disappointed. She offered to go by the drugstore and get me some of my medications, but I was scared – scared I would get out in public and have an attack. This anxiety and nervousness is so debilitating. I really would like some new shorts and shirts for summer.
Mrs. Florene just called. She didn’t talk for an hour much to my relief. I don’t think I could have taken that today. She wanted my address to send to George so he can write me. She said George had called and was asking for money for the commissary. He said he just couldn’t live off of prison food and was going to subsist off the foil packs of tuna and salmon they sell in the commissary.
I feel better now that I have settled down some. Dad will be here at 9:30 with my medications. At least I am sleeping okay. I went for a period there where I couldn’t sleep. I take catnaps all throughout the day now. And sleep about five or six hours at night.