Mom and I have played phone tag all evening. Mainly about my powdered drinks. She is obsessing over that. I made the biggest mistake of my life telling her I decided I didn’t like diet Sprite. “It’s too bubbly and coy,” I said to her dismay quoting a line from a movie. I disarmed the situation some by lying and telling mom I had some pink lemonade drink mix left. That it was too acidic for me, but I would drink it. “But it will only last you two days!” was her reply. Sigh. Sometimes in life you just can’t win. You’ve got to know when to lay down your cards and fold ‘em. This was one of those times for me. I sighed, told mom I would drive us to Wal-Mart tomorrow, and hung up the phone.
Mrs. Florene called me fretting tonight about George’s court date Thursday.
“My sister told me he may get a year in jail with all the DUIs he’s had,” Mrs. Florene said.
“Surely, he won’t get a year,” was my weak reply.
George was in jail three or four months for his last DUI. I didn’t have the heart to tell Mrs. Florene that her sister was probably right.
I’ve felt mentally interesting on and off today. Not terrible. Just disconcerting. I am so sensitive that any change in me mentally raises alarms. I get scared. I lived in mental hell for years and do not want to go back to living that way. I’ve been trying to live healthier by cutting out the caffeine, cutting out all the sugar, eating sensible, nutritious meals and not throwing them up, and I have cut way down on my smoking – almost in half. Tomorrow, I plan on resuming my and Maggie’s walks. My all or nothing persona wants to walk four miles thinking it will be healthier. Moderation young grasshopper. I am only going to walk a mile. Maggie will be overjoyed just to get a walk period.
I hadn’t felt so guilty since I told dad I stole his watch as Maggie intently watched me eat my chicken fajitas tonight. I was greedy and WANTED IT ALL! It was Mexican Tuesday’s after all – a day that only comes once a week for me. I finally gave in and gave Maggie several big strips of Mexican marinated chicken. What did she do? She carried them outside and buried them in the backyard. The possums are going to eat well tonight.