Y’all I struggled all day yesterday with my mental illness. I felt extreme anxiety and like I was going to panic all day. It was the most horrible and crazy feeling. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I paced the floors of my house for hours and hours all day until I could walk no more trying to walk off the anxiety. My legs were so sore this morning when I got up that I could barely walk. I walked feverishly and crazily – at an unheard of rate. Dad says mom has gotten up too much stuff to do for me and her. Mom has had me do something everyday since my birthday. She is on a high. Today is my eye doctor’s exam and appointment on top of everything I’ve had to do lately. Mom was obsessing yesterday that I wouldn’t be able to make it to my appointment because of my anxiety. It seems I will have to go just to appease her. I want to cancel and to just have a quiet day at home.
It is going to be a light blogging day until I get to feeling better. I apologize, but I just don’t feel well and it is hard for me to blog when I get like this. I haven’t felt this unwell in about a year. I was so disconcerted last night on the phone with mom that I started to cry.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry,” mom said so worried. “I am calling your father now to bring you extra medicine to take.”
“I just don’t want to go back to living like this,” I told her sobbing. “I’ve done so well lately and it has spoiled me.”
Dad brought me two extra Klonopin to take last night and that helped. I slept really good last night. Let’s hope this anxiety eases up some today and I can get back to normal. I will talk to you all again in a few days when I get to feeling better. I hope you have a great day.