Sunday, April 18, 2010

A Season of Excess…

The past few days I’ve had my thermostat set on 82 and feel totally comfortable.  That should save some money these summer months.  The air conditioner just kicked on when the temperature rose to 83.  I have to admit, it felt good to feel that cold air blowing on me as I sat in the den near the vent though.  I am trying to justify spending an extra $43 dollars a month on frivolous digital TV. 

Who’s Money is it?

I was thinking a moment ago how my social security money has become dad’s.  I have little to no say in how it is spent.  This doesn’t bother me too much because I don’t lack for much, but it made me wonder when that changed.  I think it was when dad legally got power of attorney over me and took over all my financial affairs. 

We’re a little obsessive compulsive…

Mom called me a moment ago for the first time today.  She was excited that dad just left to go to Merl’s diner to pick up some fried shrimp plates for supper.

“Do you think you can still make it to your eye doctor’s appointment?” she asked after the usual pleasantries.

“I made it to AA today so I should be able to make it to the doctor,” I replied, tired of this question, but I stayed nice and congenial.  I understand my mother all too well.  She has asked me that literally 20 times in the past two days.

“Oh, that’s a good sign,” she said excitedly. “I believe you can make it.”

“What do you think gets us mentally off?” she then asked.

“We try to do too much and we get tired,” I replied. “You and I had something social to do everyday since my birthday.  We just get off.  We need to live quiet lives.  You need to calm down as well.  You’ve been trying to do too much.”

Mom agreed with me and hung up the phone after saying goodbye. We really can’t take a lot going on.  It always harkens back to my longing to work, but I don’t know how I would ever make it through an eight hour work day filled with all that social interaction.  Maybe, if I only worked or volunteered and hour or two a day.  I guess that’s why I go to AA.  One hour a day is enough for right now.  I can build on that foundation. 


Summer said...

I want to give you some words of encouragement. I absolutely hate going to my doctor appointments. As a friend of mine said once, it makes me feel like I'm being judged. I have an appointment tomorrow that I'm obsessing about and have been for a few days. I've not had my regular check ups because I just hate it. After they are over, I feel silly for not going, as it really is no big deal. But...... I just want you to know that you're not alone in the way you are feeling.

You can do it! WE can do it!

Beth said...

While I don't have power of attorney for my daughter (at least yet), her dad and I support her at present because she cannot work with her mental illness. She is in the disability application process (a hearing will be held sometime this year -- she's been denied twice). I pay her bills and buy the necessities but almost never give her cash -- maybe $5 here or there, but not more. She has food stamps and medical insurance through a state rural medical grant which pays for doctors and meds -- thank god -- because at $1K a month or more for some of the antipsychotics she takes, we could not afford those. The mental illness (and probably both the current necessary and the former illegal drug use) has definitely impaired her thinking and memory, although she is very high functioning on the whole. I desperately wish I did not have to be so controlling, so deeply involved in her finances, but that is what is needed at this point. I'm betting your dad feels the same way.

Marsha said...

Your money is still yours. It does NOT belong to your father. He has power of attorney over you and can decide how it's spent but to deny you food that you need (you always run out) is wrong on many levels, most importantly, legally. No one can survive on $40 a week grocery bill. That's absurd.

As your mom said, he's saving it up. Well, if you're running out of food yet he has thousands in the bank, then he's mis-managing your money.

He has to account to Social Security once a year on how he spends that money AND has to tell them what amount he saves as well.

Dont let anyone tell you it's not your money. It's there for you. Food, shelter, medicine, gas for the car, etc.