Saturday, April 17, 2010

Praying for God’s Will and the Strength to Carry That Out…

Just attended on online AA meeting, and that was the topic of discussion.  I pray for that everyday now – the strength to carry out God’s will.  I have come to the conclusion that I only need a few certain things to feel mentally well and to stay sober, and I believe they are God’s will…

  1. 4 small sensible meals a day with a snack before bed.  No refined sugar and sugar rushes.  I have to be so careful about my bulimia. The 25 Snickers bars are going to mom along with a Edwards key lime pie. I also have 3 packages of cookies that are going to mom as well. These are all foods that make me want to binge.  Nutrition and keeping those four meals down is so key to me staying healthy mentally and physically.  
  2. No caffeine.  I have decided that was one of the main culprits of my recent anxiety attacks.  I am going to start foregoing my daily six sodas.  I have drank a lot of coffee and sodas lately and it has upset the balance.  The caffeine gets my heart racing and the racing devolves into anxiety attacks.
  3. Take my medications everyday on a set schedule.  Dad pretty much brings my medications at 9:30pm to 10pm every night.  The only deviation is Saturdays when dad gets off at 2pm and gives me my medications at 3pm on his way home from work. I really wish dad would come by and give me my medications before work.  My medications wear off during the day from the previous night and most afternoons find me feeling mentally interesting.  I am really dragging my feet when bedtime rolls around and can’t wait to go to sleep to escape it.
  4. No extra pills or medications unless under the most dire of emergencies as prescribed by my doctor.  This is one of the biggest dangers against my sobriety and I have to be so careful.  I can feign mental illness and eventually get extra pills to save up and take all at once.  It is my natural inclination to do this being an addictive sort of fellow.  I just can’t do this and jeopardize my sobriety. 


Hap Joy Free said...

EXCELLENT LIST!! Very proud of you, friend. That is a survival list of good boundaries.

Perhaps you can drive over to your dad's in the morning befor he goes to work to get your meds? Ask him if he can bring them home from the pharmacy the night before and have ready at 7am, or whatevert time. Might be a good compromise?!?!

Anonymous said...

that is a big list i would encourage you to do a bit at a time so you would not get all ow whack with no caffaine and sugar, they are good goals to have just do not want to see you spiral down by doing all of theses things. i would talk to your dad about changing the time that you get your meds is a good idea,i should drink less caffaine bu t do not think that i am ready to do that right now. i need to not eat su gar and keep things in the house that are sugar. ithink these are great goals. hope that you are taekn good care of yourself. liz

mxtodis123 said...

Great list, but go slowly. Not too much at once. I gave up Pepsi 2 weeks ago..and couldn't believe the withdrawal I was having. I know it was psychological mostly, but I just wanted it everyday. Now, I drink black tea with ginseng and honey...and have gotten used to that. Don't even want soda anymore.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

I have to agree with those before me! Don't go cold turkey! ONE Snickers bar is a great treat! Have a morning cup of coffee and/or a coke with your lunch.

You don't have to completely stop ALL sugar intake or ALL caffeine intake. Can you do it in moderation just like you eat your meals.

Don't deprive yourself of everything yummy in life!

Love ya,

Beth said...

Yes to moderation on stopping the caffeine and sugar. You can get caffeine-free, sugar-free Cokes and, I think, Pepsi, so you needn't give up entirely the pleasure of icy cold bubbly sodas!

I love Snickers but find that a whole candy bar also gives me too much of a sugar rush. Try cutting it into halves, and then freeze them. You eat it more slowly that way and it is satisfying. Or if you're afraid of bingeing, have Mom give you one a day or less often, just as she does the cokes.

Very sensible plan -- but cold turkey can bring on cravings that lead to bingeing. Moderation!


Cheryl said...

Great list, as the others have said. One day at a time, as the Big Book says. Let us know how it's going, OK?

Joy Heather said...

Great advice from the are doing so well..we are all proud of you, take it slowly..when you have crossed one hurdle if you feel ok go onto the next one. I LOVE caffeine free cokes especially with ice & have the best of both worlds in that...great work Andrew..Hugs joy