Just attended on online AA meeting, and that was the topic of discussion. I pray for that everyday now – the strength to carry out God’s will. I have come to the conclusion that I only need a few certain things to feel mentally well and to stay sober, and I believe they are God’s will…
- 4 small sensible meals a day with a snack before bed. No refined sugar and sugar rushes. I have to be so careful about my bulimia. The 25 Snickers bars are going to mom along with a Edwards key lime pie. I also have 3 packages of cookies that are going to mom as well. These are all foods that make me want to binge. Nutrition and keeping those four meals down is so key to me staying healthy mentally and physically.
- No caffeine. I have decided that was one of the main culprits of my recent anxiety attacks. I am going to start foregoing my daily six sodas. I have drank a lot of coffee and sodas lately and it has upset the balance. The caffeine gets my heart racing and the racing devolves into anxiety attacks.
- Take my medications everyday on a set schedule. Dad pretty much brings my medications at 9:30pm to 10pm every night. The only deviation is Saturdays when dad gets off at 2pm and gives me my medications at 3pm on his way home from work. I really wish dad would come by and give me my medications before work. My medications wear off during the day from the previous night and most afternoons find me feeling mentally interesting. I am really dragging my feet when bedtime rolls around and can’t wait to go to sleep to escape it.
- No extra pills or medications unless under the most dire of emergencies as prescribed by my doctor. This is one of the biggest dangers against my sobriety and I have to be so careful. I can feign mental illness and eventually get extra pills to save up and take all at once. It is my natural inclination to do this being an addictive sort of fellow. I just can’t do this and jeopardize my sobriety.