Thursday, April 8, 2010

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

You Just Gotta Laugh…

Imagine my excitement a moment ago when I found a twitterer who was following countless doctors of psychiatry.  Much following ensued.  I was excited to hear what these doctors had to say.  I wanted to hear about their practices.  The medications they prescribe.  Their feelings on being doctors of psychiatry.  Much to my chagrin, they turned out to be the most egregious group of Twitter link linkers I have ever encountered.  They were posting all these countless links that had no merit towards me and my mental illness.  Unfollowing ensued fast.  I was so disappointed.  I thought I had found the mother lode for mental health on Twitter.  Instead, I get a bunch of doctors posting countless and useless links to articles about psychiatry and mental illness.  I can look for and find that stuff on Google myself in my own time.  I wanted to hear personal things – wanting to get to know the doctors and develop a report.  Oh well, you just gotta laugh.  I am slowly learning my way around Twitter still it seems.

Restlessness…

I am feeling some discomfort this afternoon mentally.  My injection is again well near being this Tuesday.  I feel restless and uneasy  -- this feeling of doom and dread overcoming me.  I just called mom to talk about it, but she was out of it and couldn’t speak long or coherently.  I moved my bed again so I could lie down and use this computer.  That seems to help.  I am prescribed extra Risperdal – twenty to be exact just for these occasions.  I just can’t call dad and ask for them though.  He suspects I will abuse them – one of the many dangers of crying wolf once too often just to get a buzz from my medications.  I will soldier through, though, as I always do and eagerly await Tuesday.  Tuesday will be a day of euphoria and I can’t wait – to feel that high giddiness and to feel my version of normal for a day.  The calm comfort of another two weeks of slow release antipsychotic medication.

I’ve actually been doing so well lately and it’s been nice.  Today’s uneasiness is nothing compared to the mental torture I would experience on a daily basis just a year ago.  We seem to have found a comfortable stasis with my medication regime.  I have to remember it’s all relative.  It is easy to let my discomfort get the better of me not remembering the past.  This is a walk in the park. 

Well, I am off to eat my supper of lasagna and read for several hours.  I finished Gone with the Wind last night and will start another book of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  I have really enjoyed that series, but each book gets less enjoyable than the last.  You can tell she was running out of words at the end.  Good night dear friends and I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.   It’s Friday – the front porch of the weekend.  

1 comment:

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Hi Andrew!

The picture below of Maggie on the back of the couch . . . I swear it looks like she's smiling! Look very close and you can even see her little teeth (I think)!

As for being restless, I can't help there. Except to ask you to hang in there - we both know you can do it if you really put your heart in it. And you also know that dad will come through with the meds if things get really rough. He won't let you suffer.

The puppies have been out - and I'm about ready to go read a while and then get some sleep, too!

See ya tomorrow!
Love ya,
Grannie