This morning, I went to the 10am AA meeting -- the “church” meeting held in Lagrange. We talked about making amends and promptly admitting when we were wrong – that it was so key to staying sober. A few weeks ago, when I was drinking, I stole a nice gold watch out of my father’s BMW. I was going to sell it for more beer and Benadryl. Dad hasn’t missed it, but when I sobered up, I felt terrible. I called dad a moment ago and told him about it. I told him I would give it back tonight.
“Did I just do the wrong thing?” I asked my father. “I fear I caused more harm than good to our relationship by telling you. You haven’t missed it and probably would have never known for months.”
My father can be kind of clueless about his material possessions and is prone to lose things.
“No,” he replied excitedly. “It is a sign to me that you are doing better. That watch was a cherished gift from your sister and I would like to have it back.”
I don’t want to be the proverbial AA bull in the china shop, but I wanted to make amends to my father. I feel guilty, now, because I did it to make myself feel better (I felt so terribly guilty) and not the main goal of giving dad his watch back. Did I just do the wrong thing? I fear so. I probably ruined dad’s day.