More Signs of the Spiral Downwards…
When my mental illness flares up, all aspects of my life get out of control, jumbled and confused. Another area of my life that was glaringly telling on me about my mental illness was my food consumption. I quickly ran out of food bingeing to satiate this empty feeling in me and I have no way of buying more. I sheepishly asked dad for two loafs of bread and some sandwich meat yesterday. Grocery day was a long way away still being next Wednesday.
“Your mother bought you fourteen Lean Cuisines!” dad exclaimed. “Where did all that food go?”
“I ate it all,” I replied, keenly embarrassed.
“Did you throw it all up?” he then asked. “You told Dr. Kern you were struggling with your bulimia.”
“Some of it,” I replied. “But not most of it. I have to eat four of those paltry Lean Cuisines to stay full all day.”
“Well, I am not making any promises,” dad said. “Tomorrow is my day off and I don’t want anything pressuring me. I will probably be late in the evening before I get you something to eat.”
I am so hungry right now. You better bet I will be at Mrs. Florene’s for breakfast this morning. I have missed breakfast with her and George these past two weeks. It was so terribly embarrassing to have to ask dad for extra food yesterday – not something I want to experience for quite a long time afterwards. He was so condescending about it.
More Computer Bliss…
I know I am feeling better when I wanted to tackle a computer project of the magnitude of last night. I have two old computers that weren’t working. I took them completely apart – motherboards and all – and then used the spare parts to make one working computer. It took hours of trying different parts and troubleshooting, but now I have a backup computer in case my good computer decides to quit. It has a 3.0 GHz processor and 2 GB of RAM and two Raptor Serial ATA 150 36 GB harddrives. It is running perfectly with Windows 7 and I am so proud of my accomplishment.