Saturday, March 27, 2010

Mental Illness Check-in…

I had some issues with my mental illness yesterday.  I get these periods of great despair and restlessness.  I immediately jump up and pace the floor.  “I AM THE WALKING MAN!” I exclaimed loudly as I walked and Maggie looked on like I was crazy.  I tuned the TV in my spare bedroom to The Weather Channel and also the TV in the den.  I walked between both rooms pacing as I watched.  I realize it is growing time for another injection thus my restlessness.  Tuesday is the day.  We are going back to my 50mg level for my injection.  The 25mg injection just wasn’t working as well.  My sex drive started to return, but at a great cost.  I am just destined to be celibate it seems.  It is not like women are beating down my door anyway.  I had mainly hoped for a rich fantasy life which I currently do not have. 

I am feeling some restlessness this morning, but not bad.  I just drove over to get my diet Cokes and that will preoccupy me for about an hour.  The caffeine seems to focus my mind and calm the doldrums.  I wish I could just drink Cokes all day.  I realize it is just another drug and I use it as such.


Hap Joy Free said...

Do you know about this location? Perhaps there are other new meetings closer to home that you arent aware of?

AA Alcoholics Anonymous & Al-Anon Valley Clubhouse
501 South 6th Street
Lanett, AL 36863-2615
(334) 644-2200

Andrew said...


Yes, I know of the clubhouse and the meetings. They have very few meetings there these days and the ones listed online are no longer offered. I used to go there every night years ago. They have three meetings a week now on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. One is a Big Book study which I find hard to sit through. And one is a speaker meeting which I also find hard to sit through. I will go next week though and see how they are. We tend to have lots of "old timers" and I find they are stodgy and aggravating. I guess I should embrace principles over personalities, eh?

Joy Heather said...

Its best to go where you are happiest and one you can handle Andrew....It would be great to find a closer one, but not at the expense of been bored and giving up..that would be counter productive. Things MAY have changed since you last went though, a drop in would help you to decide...I so pray you to stay focused & get stronger each day..once you overcome this, you will have more confidence to try other things..and i wouldn't give up the idea of a lady friend just yet..who knows what the future holds for you.

justLacey said...

Actually it might be true about the caffeine. They use stimulants on children with ADHD and they seem to have a sort of opposite effect on them and allow them to calm down and focus.