I had some issues with my mental illness yesterday. I get these periods of great despair and restlessness. I immediately jump up and pace the floor. “I AM THE WALKING MAN!” I exclaimed loudly as I walked and Maggie looked on like I was crazy. I tuned the TV in my spare bedroom to The Weather Channel and also the TV in the den. I walked between both rooms pacing as I watched. I realize it is growing time for another injection thus my restlessness. Tuesday is the day. We are going back to my 50mg level for my injection. The 25mg injection just wasn’t working as well. My sex drive started to return, but at a great cost. I am just destined to be celibate it seems. It is not like women are beating down my door anyway. I had mainly hoped for a rich fantasy life which I currently do not have.
I am feeling some restlessness this morning, but not bad. I just drove over to get my diet Cokes and that will preoccupy me for about an hour. The caffeine seems to focus my mind and calm the doldrums. I wish I could just drink Cokes all day. I realize it is just another drug and I use it as such.