It is easy to get down if you suffer from a major mental illness on top of addiction issues. You can get into the doldrums quick like I have the past week! I’ve been thinking positively today about how lucky I am. For years, I have measured myself against Kevin “The Homeless Guy” Barbieux. It makes me thankful of all I have. I’ve lost track of doing that. I have Maggie. I have a comfortable if somewhat dilapidated home in a relatively safe neighborhood. I have all the food I care to eat when many people in our modern world go starving every day. I have George, Mrs. Florene and a family that still loves me. I have all the cigarettes I care to smoke if I smoke them judiciously. I get six diet Cokes per day when I could be getting none. If I am cold, I turn up the heat and vice versa.
Tomorrow is mom’s 65th birthday. If I can only just live so long I thought today. There was a time in my life I didn’t want to live past thirty and go through the hell my life currently was. See? It is so easy to dwell on the negative. Today, I choose to embrace the positive. I hope you will see it in my writings for the upcoming weeks. We are getting back on track.
(Just as I was writing this, Maggie came bustling in the room wagging her tail something fierce. She was wanting some attention. I smiled and rubbed her back vigorously. It is a good day to be alive!!!!!! For her alone, I should be living every day with gusto.)