Monday, March 29, 2010

Double Take and a Turn Around!!!

I was just sitting at a red light in downtown West Point, Georgia.  A train was passing in front of me and I was geeking out! I love trains. I was headed to the 8pm AA meeting in Lagrange.  It is a long drive and I was just out of town and was trying to psyche myself up for this ordeal. I kept praying in the shower that God would allow me and help me to make it. Then it happened.  I had a massive panic/anxiety attack sitting in front of that train.  My arms went numb.  My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour.  The whole world seemed to spin.  I managed to turn around and head home.  I have never been so glad to pull in my driveway in all my life.  I was literally scared to death.  I tried to do too much tonight.  Late in the evenings are when my medication levels are low in my bloodstream.  I am always tired and go to bed around 8:30 until dad arrives with the meds.  Tomorrow is also my injection of Risperdal Consta.  I should’ve been more cautious and just attended an online meeting at 9pm.  You live and you learn.  I am just glad the panic attack didn’t last long.  Usually, they can last for an hour or more and I am wracked with agony.  Thank God for tonight’s reprieve from the usual. 


Cheryl said...

Things always get 'interesting' when you're due for your shot. I'm glad the panic attack was short-lived. Do you ever listen to audio books in your car? That could be a good distraction. I wonder what the online meetings are like? I'd like to check one out just to experience it. Hope the rest of your night goes well.

Andrew said...

Cheryl, yes, it is "interesting" time! lol I will feel better three hours after my injection tomorrow.

The online meetings are interesting and can be kind of chaotic. People will talk out of turn and it is really no substitute for experiencing AA in the flesh and blood. A lot of people attend them due to the fact they are afraid to go to real world meetings as someone will see them and they will be labeled as an alcoholic by their friends and employers.

Leann said...

Are there meetings in the late morning when you're feeling better and your med levels are higher?

I'm sorry to hear the panic attack took you from the meeting but glad you made it home safely.

Andrew said...


There is a noon meeting most days that I have been attending. It is just not very populated as the evening meetings. We often have to drum up a chairperson for the noon meetings. But I like them anyway. Thanks for your concern. You are a dear, dear friend to me.

Lena said...

I am glad you made it home and that the attack didn't last too long.

It is so wonderful that there are on-line options now and people can feel safe not having to run into other people and be labeled.

Getting to know yourself and what your limits are is a good thing! It is admirable that you were committed enough to your recovery to attempt to make the trip!

Good night!

PipeTobacco said...


Glad you are doing ok after the panic attack. Please keep in mind how moderation is the key to success. Do not try to do "extreme" amounts of anything... even if it is considered "good". Moderation in all things gives you a lot more options in everything.