Monday, March 29, 2010

Curious Family Dynamics…

My mother suffers from schizophrenia and bi-polar.  She also has an addiction to aprozolam (Xanax) which my father tolerates as it keeps her malleable and complacent.  She easily gets muddled and confused.  She will often sound thick tongued over the phone.  She did today and I worried deeply about her.  Her’s is not an easy life as I sometimes delude myself into thinking with Helen cleaning the house and cooking all her meals.

“I just put your cokes out on the porch,” mom told me a moment ago over the phone.

“Mom, I picked up my cokes at eight this morning,” I replied.

Used to, I would take advantage of her muddle-ness and confusion.  I would jump all over the chance at getting six extra cokes for the day.  I won’t lie and say it wasn’t enticing, but cooler and more ethical heads prevailed this morning.  Dad has often told me I’ve taken advantage of my mother’s tendency to do things such as this over the years and i want to change that. I don’t write this to toot my own horn, but to display some of the dynamics that go on in families with individuals who are addicted and are mentally ill.    


This IS The Fun Part! said...

My scattered thoughts:
1. Don't keep worrying about how long this wonderful feeling will last. Just enjoy it.
2. Your nurse has seen far, far worse! Don't worry about her. She will be just as nice as ever, I bet!
3. It's sweet that you are working at not taking advantage of mom right now. She's got it rough and I think it's great that you are trying so hard to help her in your own way.
4. It might be interesting to see what your brother and sister come up with. You can always talk with your doctor about whatever it is before you try it. Might make you much more comfortable.
5. Sorry I didn't write sooner but I've been tied up watching all this racing that was postponed from all the rain yesterday! First was Indy cars road racing in St. Petersburg, FL - then drag cars running FOUR at a time in Charlotte (imagine 4 cars going 300+ mph side by side) and now watching NASCAR from Martinsville, VA (500 laps of rubbin', beatin' and bangin'!). Did I ever mention that my dad used to build NASCAR cars from the 50's through the 70's! It was in interesting way to grow up!
6. Our rain total for the past 36 hours is not quite 6 inches. Hubby is in the shed starting on the ark! Too late now - the sun is coming out. The neighborhood looks pretty flooded - and Dixie and Rascal really don't want to go out at all . . afraid they might get their delicate little tootsies wet!
Back to laundry and racing. Have a wonderful day!

Love ya,

Joy Heather said...

What good sound advice from grannie.
You are doing so well and we all watch you get more positive each day in so many ways..its your Meds tomorrow as you will prob be even to you & Maggie

justLacey said...

Good for you and not taking advantage of moms confusion.