Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
That’s the eleventh step of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve never paid much attention to the details of that step having never gotten that far in the program. This evening, I noticed it said to ask God ONLY for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. I have been praying all wrong! I have been praying for anything and everything. I pray mostly for mental health. In the shower. While I eat. While I am driving. I am asking God to help remove my mental illness. It has tortured me so over the years. Maybe God’s will was to mold me as the person I am today through my mental illness. I think I am very kind and it is one of my most important aspects as a person. I have a lot of empathy for people who are downtrodden and/or ill. I have been praying for a miracle and maybe I’ve gotten it all wrong. God must be much more subtle than that and I will not set myself up for disappointment when he doesn’t cater to my every prayer and whim.