Monday, February 8, 2010

The Poisoned Apple…

One comforting aspect of George’s drinking over the years was that I always knew I could get a drink if I needed one.  I could call George and he would be over in fifteen minutes with a case of beer thrilled to have the old times back.   Now?  Dad would be more likely to buy me a beer than George.  For some reason, this bothers me, and has for weeks.   I guess that old saying about you always want what you can’t have is true.  The same goes for my Diet Cokes.  I never thought much about Diet Cokes in my younger years.  I could always just drive to the store and buy some.  Now, I am obsessed.  I am only allowed six a day (three are caffeine free) and it drives me crazy.  Dad and I got in a fight over them last night.  He says I get “high” off of them.

Well, this morning I have been researching “hooch” or “prison hooch”.  This is my addictive personality at work.  Mom is buying me lots and lots of fruit these days and my addictive mind thought, “Hey! I could turn this bounty into alcohol!”  Yeast would be the problem.  I would have to orchestrate an elaborate ruse to get mom to buy me yeast.  I would have to buy buttermilk or milk, flour, baking powder, and act like I was baking things.  The recipes are all so varied as well.  Some even call for well worn dirty socks or underwear in place of yeast in the “prison hooch” recipes where yeast would be impossible to obtain.   Ah, the Internet; where you can find anything if you just know where to look.

Six Miles Under My Belt This Morning…

Maggie and I were passing the old cotton mill this morning when I thought, “You know? I wouldn’t go through all this if it wasn’t for this little dog!”  It’s true.  I wouldn’t walk if it wasn’t for Maggie.  I would be at home ensconced in my warm “command center” reading books, playing video games, or browsing the Internet.  I froze my ass off today and kept longing for a pair of warm gloves.  My hands were just extremely uncomfortably freezing today. 

When I got home, I thought of calling mom and putting into motion getting a pair of gloves today.   Putting into motion is a good way to describe it as it would be an elaborate process.   But then I decided not to.  It would be too complicated and it would get mom in a stir.  Mom is obsessive compulsive like me and takes such matters extremely seriously; insanely seriously.  She would have to drive by my father’s pharmacy to get a check from my account.  Drive to Wal-Mart.  Call me three times about the sizes.  And then finally purchase me a pair all the while fretting for hours worried if they would fit and if they didn’t having to return them.  

Anyways, Maggie loves her walks.  I wish you could all see how excited she gets when I pull out the leash.  It is like a little kid getting to go to the fabled Disney World every time, and it happens every day when it is not raining.  I do it for her, and I guess it is good for me.  I used to walk with a passion.  A zest.  Now?  I just go through the motions kind of like having sex after you’ve been married for twenty years.

I Want this Person in my Life…

I’ve been following this woman on Twitter for weeks now.  I love her tweets.  She’s an incredible person.  She writes on Twitter like my favorite blog author wrote on her now defunct blog; everyday mundane stuff that I just eat up.  I want to get to know a person and hear about their days.   I eat up the minutia of life of someone I’m interested in.  I realized a few days ago that I wanted this person in my life and I also realized this was the first time in my life I’ve felt that way before.  People have always just chosen to have me in their lives.  I have never purposely pursued a relationship this way before.  It is nothing sexual.  I just want a friend. 

Well, I have been commenting on her blog cautiously and tweeting back some.  I am not very good at all this so this is an undiscovered country for me.  How do you make someone your friend?  Is it chance?  Or is there some chemistry involved?  If she reads my blog then she will probably run the other direction as fast as she can! LOL

13 comments:

kristi said...

I'd love to read her blog...if you could e mail me the link I would love it.
butterflylady97@yahoo.com

kristi said...

LOL when my brother was in prison, he made hooch.

Happyone :-) said...

There is a saying I like about finding friends.

I went outside to find a friend but could not find one there; I went outside to be a friend, And friends were everywhere. - Payne

I think if you are just nice to people you can't help but find friends.

Jen said...

I've made a few friends online over the last few years- it's not as scary as I thought. You know, approaching it with basic safety/smarts, that is. I say keep doing what you're doing- you never know where a little conversation will lead. You seem to be a pretty up-front internet person- you let people know the real you as much as you can, you've done your job :)

ps As an uninformed stranger without a lot of experience in compulsion and addicion- can I just say "dude, step away from the underwear juice!"?

forsythia said...

Put the yeast down and back S-L-O-W-L-Y away from the kitchen counter and no one will get hurt.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

Yeast is not really an issue. It costs only a little over a dollar, and hell, you could get that picking up stray soda bottles and what-not.

But, the idea is you are either choosing to:

1. Not drink alcohol.
2. Drink alcohol responsibly.
or
3. Drink alcohol excessively.

It is simply a choice. Making "home brew" is a helluva lot of work for a free man (as opposed to a prisoner, where it is understandable) to simply get drunk. If that is what you want to do, you know there are a great many ways that are easier.

I suspect you are planning to stay sober as a judge. However, if you do decide to drink, do so moderately, not excessively.

I made dandelion wine one time. It was fun to make, and the results were acceptable. But even the cheapest wine at the grocery store looked better and tasted better in reality.

Your friend,

PipeTobacco
http://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com

Leann said...

She would be lucky to have you Andrew. Hope she responds!

Sharon said...

First of all, you've come too far now to go back to drinking. And I don't think you really want to go backwards anymore, not from the things I've seen you write. Just my opinion. Secondly, if you don't want to ask Mom for gloves, why don't you ask your Dad? I mean, you can easily explain that when you walk Maggie your hands are freezing. I can't see him not getting you something as simple as gloves. Thirdly, if you want someone to be your friend, just keep talking to them. Eventually, like the rest of us, she'll see what a good, kind, wonderful person you are and will respond to it. I do wish you the best of luck with all. xoxo Sharon

mago said...

Koffe and cigarettes will do, don't ya think?

Anonymous said...

sent you an email. liz

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Drinking isn't the answer to your problems any more than it's the answer for George.

When spring hits, plant a garden and grow your own organic veggies! Mrs. Florene would love fresh home grown goodies from her "son". That should keep you busy!

Grannie

Sharyna said...

Not that it should be known by alcoholics like us but all you really need is apple juice and yellow raisens. It has to be the yellow type. Put the raisens in the juice and put it under your bed. Burp it once a day for about 6 weeks. "Wine" I've got to stop hanging around with parolees. LOL

Berryvox said...

LOL at Jen's "underwear juice" comment.

Get the gloves (and a winter hat)! It'll make the cold much easier to deal with. I'd say go by yourself or with your mother but Walmart might be a bit anxiety-inducing. Can you get your father to get them?