Grandma always said crazy is as crazy does.
My two dogs go wild for everything! Their favorites are Magpies and Rabbits. I am sure they wouldn't know what to do with them if they caught them though.
Those meds your pop spoon-feeds you are like intrapsychic bouncers! They have ejected the analyst, the lover and the poet from the society of your mind! Only the lonely simpleton and the slavering brute remain. No highly functioning adult could ever be your true friend and peer while you are squeezed into such a chemical straitjacket . Pining for some web fantasy woman ,who has taken shape for you mainly through projective identification, can lead you only to despair and the beer bottle! You are not ready to have such an intimate relationship right now! What on earth could you offer her? Do you really think she could handle your scary schizoaffective mood swings?Many people have gotten into deep doodoo pursuing obscure objects of desire over the net! What you need is a caretaker who believes you can shoulder increasing responsibilities and develop manly self-dicipline. Some one who can lead you down the path towards satisfying (aaah!) independence. Is your dad such a person? Does he still believe in you? Or does he see himself as a zookeeper and you as an incurably wild manimal who needs to be kept UNDER CONTROL ? Time to have a civilised talk with your father about how far he thinks you can progress. But please don't get furious if he belittles you or laughs off your concerns. Bonne chance , mon brave!
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