Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Calm Before the Storm?

Y'all, I am feeling so well this week.  It reminds me of the post from yesterday that I titled "Hills and Valleys."  Mental illness is so up and down.   I'm walking with regularity. I'm taking my medications religiously.  I've gotten the bulimia under control.  I am so excited with what each new day may bring. 

Last night, mom called me. "I just want to talk," she said.

"You sound shaky," I told her.

"To be honest, I'm having a panic attack," she replied.

"I'm coming over asap!"

Mom and I talked for an hour as she lay in the bed until she got to feeling better. I sat in what I call the psychiatrist's chair next to the big flat screen television.  

"It's not fair," she told me. "This curse you and I bear."

A tear erupted from my eye.

"Are you crying?"  mom asked, worried.

"I just want peace for me and you," I solemnly replied as I wiped the tear from my eye.

I gave mom a hug, petted her cat Muffin, and left.

In brighter news, I get my Christmas tree tomorrow!  I can't wait to get it in the den and put on the string of lights.  I don't have many ornaments, though.  I have a few boxes of glass balls and some brass bells.  It still looks pretty, though.  I will get up some pictures when I get it decorated.  


forsythia said...

Thanks for your visit. Your comments made my day. Sorry about your panic attack--both my husband and daughter get whacked by one now and then. Our daughter inherited every bad mental-health gene on both sides of the family--a real witch's brew. She's in her forties now, and has worked very hard at achieving a measure of acceptance and serenity. Along the way, there have been some amusing moments, as when one of her doctors, from India, told her that OCD "vaxes and vanes." (Waxes and wanes.) :-)

Andrew said...

Forsynthia! "vaxes and vanes" Sounds like some kind of veinous medical condition. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Karen :-) said...

Glad to hear you're doing well!
I pray that you and your mom find peace.
So many of us take our health, mental and physical for granted.

Andrew said...

Karen, thank you so much! I want you to know I am an avid reader of your blogs. Your walking inspires me!

Maire said...

As troubling is the cross you both bear, it is good to have someone who understands exactly what it is you live through everyday. Me? Hubby is a shrink, lol...

Andrew said...


Yes, yes it is. Mom knows exactly what I go through on a daily basis. We are so alike in a lot of days. Is your hubby a true shrink?

Joy Heather said...

I have had a few bad panic attacks the past few days (due i think, to a huge stress in the family )..they always leave me so tired and worn out. It is so good that you and your Mom have that closeness and can share your bad days..it does halp to share..i do hope your Mom feels better very soon, and that you stay level....hope you have fun doing your tree...i have just finished mine, it isn't very good this year...i just threw it together, but its good to get it up and put the lights on....i will put pics onto my blog...Take Care Andrew....hugs to both you & Maggie...have fun doing your tree.

Andrew said...

Joy Heather,

I am so excited about my tree!!! I love the way a real tree make the house smell. And the lights? I love the glow and to just sit in the room late at night and think of good thoughts.

I hope you feel better soon. Those attacks are nothing to sneeze at. Take care of yourself and do some things that make you feel good!

justLacey said...

You are right, what you and your mom bear isn't fair.

Andrew said...


As they say, "Life isn't fair!" I think that holds true for us all. Chin up as the Brits would say.