"Mom, I need some super glue," I told my mother over the phone this morning.
"Okay," she replied. "Come and get it."
I drove over to get the glue. "Bring it right back!" she said.
"I will bring it back when I get my cokes," I replied.
"No, bring it back when you finish," she said with the utmost seriousness. "I might need it."
I smiled. "Obsessive compulsive," I thought to myself. The odds that mom would get out of the bed to use super glue on a Thursday morning were pretty slim.
I fixed my speaker grill and took it straight back just like she requested.
I've gained 10 pounds this morning when I weighed myself. I about panicked! I don't want to be fat again. I've noticed people treat me so differently when I am slim. Yesterday, the clerk at Fred's Super Dollar Store was flirting with me. That is something that never happened when I weighed over 200 pounds.
"Let's get something to eat tonight," she told me.
I politely declined as I didn't have any money.
I kept thinking about s-e-x, though. She was so buxom and attractive. You can't blame me as it's been a long time and a guy has his needs.