Sunday, October 25, 2009

I Need More Compassion...

I feel much better this morning.   I noticed today that I am able to daydream again.  I can't do this when I am feeling mentally unwell.   Dad was kind of grilling me yesterday about my appearances, though. 

"You're hair is sticking up and looks wild.  You need to shave.  You just look disheveled," he told me.  "You can usually pull yourself together."

That's just it! I can't!  I can't pull myself together when my mental illness grabs hold of me.  I tried to tell dad that's like telling a cancer patient to suck it up and feel normal.  He still doesn't get it though.   I've learned my mental illness works in cycles just like mom's.  I have to weather the stormy periods and relish the good.   

It certainly is nice to feel better this morning.  I feel content and that is something worth a million dollars to me.   Just to be able to sit and watch TV without feeling like I am going to jump out of my skin is a wonderful thing.   To be able to use the computer and actually concentrate on what I am doing is worth a thousand words - more than I could ever write in a blog post.    


Joy Heather said...

I'm really glad you are feeling better today Andrew...of course you cant just 'pull yourself together' when you are having a bad day emotionally etc..If only it were that easy..we wouldn't need the medication then would we !!!...but i suppose its hard for folk who dont suffer to understand..hope you go from strength to strength friend.

Lena said...

Glad you feel better. Your dad is trying though.

Leann said...

It's good to hear you are feeling better Andrew.

If there is one thing I have learned it is that people cannot relate to situations they have never been in. You cannot 'imagine' yourself in them and how they would affect you.

(M)ary said...

in my opinion, combing one's hair and shaving is overrated.

i know many folks who clean themselves up nicely who are quite the jerks.