Monday, March 9, 2009

Welcome Home...

Went for my walk again early this morning.  Maggie tagged along and seems to enjoy this much more than I.  The sun was just coming up as I turned into my driveway.  It was a beautiful sky full of rose colored clouds.  I said a little prayer thanking whoever may have been the grand designer of such things. 

I drank two diet cokes for breakfast and it was two too much; too much caffeine and I felt that scourge of anxiety attacks welling up.  I called mom and asked her to bring me some more cokes for the afternoon when she went to her hair appointment at 2 PM.

"Just how many cokes are you drinking?" she asked admonishing me. "You are going to run out."

I hung up the phone not willing to be berated about my caffeine habit.  Mom didn't call back.  She must of woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I fully expect her to come by this afternoon as if nothing ever happened. 

When I feel ill like today, much time is spent gravitating from my computer to the bed.  I call it quiet time.  I will lay down and shut the world out as my overactive mind calms down and goes to sleep.  I listen to the world going on around me feeling glad I can afford to have these times of respite.  If I were to lose my disability, I don't know what I would do.  I could never work with these things plaguing me.  


I'm The Momma, That's Why! said...

I guess your dad may be right - sometimes we moms do make things a little complicated! But our hearts are in the right place.

Enjoy your quiet time - And look forward to the beautiful sunrise that will be there tomorrow!

Grannie in Florida

Kathy said...

Sunrises and sunset are a real gift, aren't they?
Do you ever drink caffeine-free Coke? I have to avoid caffeine because of a congenital arrhythmia. I even love decaf green tea!


enjoy your quiet days..hope you feel a bit better..

PipeTobacco said...


If caffeine is the culprit for your feelings, you could consider caffeine free Diet Coke or caffeine free Diet Pepsi.

Yet, I suspect you may actually enjoy the jolt of caffeine and the other symptoms you are facing may be due to something else. When you were driving a truck, did you consume the caffeine pills that are so common to the trade and are at virtually every truck stop? If so, how did they affect your mood?

I remember one time I had a bottle of the caffeine pills for use in a teaching demonstration. A few weeks later, I reached into my desk for aspirin for a headache and accidentally took the caffeine pills instead (similar size and shape). I had a bit of a jittery (albeit fun) afternoon that day.


forsythia said...

Our daughter, who's struggles with panic attacks, has sworn off caffeine and says it helps.

justLacey said...

Caffeine free cokes actually taste better to me.

Tee and Hubby said...

The caffeine is probably the culprit for the anxiety attacks. Try to caffeine-free Cokes, they are just as good. It's certainly worth the try to see if this is, in fact, the cause.