Sunday, January 25, 2009

Convo with Dad at Lunch...

"Your mother says you're seeing that George character again," Dad said with a scowl on his face.  "Is he still doing all that drinking and drugs?"

"I only see him at his work," I said defensively. 

I had told mom yesterday jokingly that George was going to get me hookers and beer, and we were going to throw a party.  I was jesting; making small talk. 

"George is like valet parking for the underworld of Andrew-ville," I told mom. "He can get you everything and anything."

It was actually rather sad that I was boasting about having a friend with such connections, and that was what I was doing: boasting.  I then berated mom for telling dad that, and then felt like a total schmuck.

"I promise you I am not going to turn into an alkie again," I reassured mom.

Geez, my life can get exponentially complicated at the drop of a hat.    


jules said...

Ah the joy's of mental illness, drugs and parents...........

forsythia said...

...or at the drop of a name. :-)

Cheryl said...

...or by bringing up something that's been bugging you to the wrong person at the wrong moment.

I haven't been by for a few days. I've missed you!

Kathy said...

Moms and dads get scared for their kids -- no matter how old the kids are...
A lot of parents also know that old saying, "You lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas." They're just frightened for you, Andrew. They know how much you've been through.

I'm The Momma, That's Why! said...

I think mom and dad are being more than a little over-protective. But that's their job! I'm a mom and I recognized it immediately.

You know they are trying to help - just wish they wouldn't take everything you say or do quite to seriously - right?

I, however, prefer the cheerleader approach - as you have probably have already figured out.

Just in the last two posts, Andrew, you've made great choices. You had open opportunity to go the wrong way - do nothing - or do something positive. You have chosen the POSITIVE!

Congratulate yourself, you've hit 432! It's rough, it sucks - but ya gotta try to find something good each day to keep ya going. Even if it is just spaghetti, a flock of starlings - or podering life on Mars!

You're doin' it right!
Grannie in Florida

Lena said...

I would have reacted the same way if you were my son, and then felt bad about it.

Kathy is right on. Parents get scared about their kids. They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You have been through a lot and so have they.

They love you, they care, and they say stuff you don't want to hear. That is their job.

Windrider said...

433 days of sobriety?

I hardly think that you would throw all that away to sip a beer with George in his clunker..

Please.... I far to much faith in you that that Andrew.

Leann said...

Ditto on everything about being a parent. I do it to my own daughter and have to truly bite my tongue at times.

Syd said...

Life can get complicated at the drop of a hat. That's right.

muttonfish said...

Andrew, just wanted to tell you how good it is to have you back. I have missed your daily posts.

(M)ary said...

hm. does being a recovering alcoholic mean you can't tell jokes? i am not sure how that works. my father was a drinker then stopped and we couldn't even mention booze in the house. (don't even get me started on the subject of sex.)

i think that one of the symptoms of a dry alcoholic is lack of communication and control issues. i think not being able to tell a joke could be part of a dry alcoholic system of repression.
buuuuttt...on the other hand. it is scary when a loved one who does drink gives hints he might start, a joke may be more than a joke...
where is the line?? it's complicated, ain't it?

PipeTobacco said...


I hope things are well with you. I hope you are enjoying the winter.

In the interactions your father has with you, it seems that he treats you as a very young child. I suspect he may do the same towards your mother. If I were in your shoes, it would make me very angry to be treated as such, and it is immaterial about your illness or your housing situation. You are an adult (near 40) and deserve at least a MINIMUM of respect in being treated AS an adult.

I think the reaction of your father to seeing George is also unfair. Just because George drinks does not mean you will do so. Life does not work like that. You will drink only if you choose to drink.

Please know these are just my opinions. But, damn it, I think you deserve better treatment.

Also, what the heck does "Gaza" mean in your Twitter about NPR? I suspect it is a joke of some sort, but apparently I am too dense to understand. The only thing I can think is about the "Gaza Strip" which cannot be the correct relationship


(M)ary said...

pipe tobacco: apparently you haven't been listening to NPR or you would know!! the news has been singularly focused on the Middle East...well, with brief breaks about the economy.

Andrew, if you listen online, I would recommend, CBC and the BBC for other programs.

Also, I really like WNYC's The Takeaway. I sometimes listen live in the morning. Or later in the day you can listen to just the stories you want to hear.

Leann said...


If you are still reading your commnets I have posted some pictures on my blog I thought you might enjoy. I tok them just for you!

thailandchani said...

As one who is often guilty of not quite knowing when someone is jesting, I understand.. both sides. :)