Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Circle Goes Round and Round...

Step 13 : Rid yourself of relatives with pill fetishes.

I am so obsessive compulsive, and I take a pill for that, too!  It makes me uncomfortable when my father foists pills upon like he did yesterday.  It plays into that old alcoholic mind set that everything is better after a few drinks.  I am so weak of will that I will gladly take them in the hopes of feeling anything extraordinary.  I realize I am replacing drink with pills.  And the pills are coy and subversive.   My sponsor might just shit in his pants when I call him about this tonight.  We have talked of it often with me being not very open about it.   I don't want to go through another withdrawal like I did with alcohol.  It was terrible.

10 comments:

justLacey said...

You can wean yourself off the extra pills you take. You are strong now, you can do anything.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

Sounds like an excellent plan to me! Taking unprescribed pills is not a good practice. You will be far happier without them.

I am not sure if I will be around much the next several days due to my traversing to the North for deer camp. It should be a helluva lot of fun, though. I am looking forward to the in camp relaxation as well as the contemplation in the woods. I just hope I have enough supplies. :)

PipeTobacco

Nathan Hawks said...

Firstly: I thought the 13th Step was "Sleep with Someone in AA" ;)

Secondly: I hope I am not blaspheming here, but I would not be surprised if your sponsor says "well, it's medicine. Are you taking it as directed, and no more?" And if you say yes, then he/she might say, "Well it's good to worry about it, but just keep doing it only as directed."

Also, I hope you don't mind but, I've tagged you. Ha ha ;P See my blog.

Nathan Hawks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CJM-R said...

I think it is good that you are concerned about all the pills. Curious to know how your sponsor responded.

Great job giving up the sugary soda, that is not an easy thing to do!

Nathan Hawks said...

Andrew, I read the posts backwards and now I see it was not a scrip situation and kind of a shared impulse...

I shouldn't presume to put words in your sponsor's mouth anyway. I apologize.

Cheryl said...

I wonder how many people come up with their own #13? That would be interesting to write a post about possible 13's.

Be well!

Portia said...

We all have our moments, but I must say I do NOT think you are weak of will. I think it says a lot that you are aware of the games pills play with an addict's mind. I hate to think of the withdrawal process too, but maybe focus on other aspects? You CAN do it! healthboards.com has a message board dedicated to addiction. A lot of family and friends post there, but mostly addicts. Almost all of them are talking about pills. You may or may not find it interesting but I thought I'd throw it out there.
I hope it's a good weekend:)

Syd said...

If the pills are prescribed, it would be best to talk to your doctor about what you are taking. I take some meds that I would like to forego but realize that it's better that I don't for now.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Over prescription is endemic in this neck of the woods and thankfully one can always get a second opinion over here. I prefer to take as few meds as possible, but your condition is very significant and so the meds are part of the landscape. yes you may be tempted to take more than your suggested dose. many alcoholics have this tendency. i am sure you will find that you are as sick as your secrets and that when you unburden your anxiety about this tendency that you will not feel so 'special and different'. some hide in their jobs, others in books, some in relationships. we all have our easier softer way' hiding places.
so have no shame in your courageous resolve to be honest with others. secrets are not good for the soul. Im sure it will help to share this situation with others (possibly including your doctor) and see what they say.
that way you will not be alone with this concern and unnecessary ? guilt.
good luck Andrew!