Went to two AA meetings today. Both had similar themes - not picking up that first drink. The first drink would always get me as well. With one down, twenty would follow.
I still romanticize drinking though. I stood in the convenience store down from my house this afternoon and eyed the beer longingly. "It has been so long," my mind said. "One drink won't hurt you." They say in AA that alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's the truth. As soon as you let your guard down, old habits arise and the stinkin' thinkin' starts.
Charlie is throwing a big cookout tonight. It is ribeye steak night at Charlie's. I declined from going and they will bring me and Maggie a plate. I've got to get over these social anxieties. I will never meet new people and friends sitting in this house all the time in front of this computer.