This is my attempt to write about this occurrence with the hopes it will alleviate some of the symptoms I am experiencing today.
I felt it coming on for hours. My head started to spin and I couldn't focus on anything. I immediately started to pace the floor. "Your house is so freakin' dirty," I said to myself noticing acutely that dirt and dog hair was everywhere. I don't noticed this when I am normal. It adds to the panic that my father is coming at night with my medications. Soon, I was lying on the bed too tired to walk anymore. My head continued to spin. I can't drink, smoke, or have any noise on. My mouth grows so dry, I feel like I am choking trying to wet it. My neighbors were mowing their lawn and it just added to the panic. It was so getting on my nerves. Then the need to urinate would hit. I would stand over the toilet as my head and heart pounded, but nothing would happen. I got so scared I would urinate in my bed as I lie there. Finally, I managed to use the bathroom. This went on for three or four hours. It is maddening. I feel like I am losing my mind. I have no control over my body. They almost feel like seizures to be honest.