Went to a 10 AM AA meeting this morning. It was kind of like a somber church for alcoholics. We discussed handling certain situations in life sober. Learning how to intuitively handle situations that used to baffle us when drinking. There is a lot of wisdom in the halls of AA if you have an open mind and listen. I try so hard to be a malleable soul and alcoholic.
"Relationships," one lady said. "Drove me crazy and I was always dating the most terrible men. I got sober and realized I didn't have to complete that vicious cycle anymore. I had a new freedom in life. I was at peace with myself."
"Resentments," another man replied. "I got sober and resented it. I wanted to drink like my father and his father before him. It just wasn't fair. I had to intuitively learn to handle life without alcohol. It took years and I am still growing and changing. I learn something new every meeting."
One of my biggest growth points was learning to be at peace with myself sober. The only time I previously felt at peace was after six or more beers. My busy, mentally ill mind would go a thousand miles a minute leaving me bewildered and confused. It took weeks of steady sobriety to calm my mind down along with the help of my medications.
Joyce's sister came and got her this morning. Joyce spent all night sitting in a chair on her carport afraid to go inside. That must have been a long night. I was oblivious and asleep. None of the medications they are trying on Joyce are working. She is still batshiat crazy these days. I am confused as to why they aren't trying new and different medications. It is obvious her current ones aren't working.
There was a note on my front door this morning from Joyce. It said, "Don't let them take me away. I love you. Joyce." It broke my heart. I could barely read her handwriting though. Joyce's living arrangements have been so chaotic with hospitals and living with her sister that it is no wonder she is struggling.