Friday, June 6, 2008

Impending Doom...

Glum post, I know.  Sorry.  But I don't feel well.  It all started a few days ago about the time Dad would come with my medications.  Now I feel this lump or pain in my stomach like another attack is going to happen any moment.  I woke up this way.  I had a terrible attack last night.  So painful and uncomfortable.  It lasted for hours.  I kept feeling the need to urinate, but couldn't!  I actually outlast these attacks after three or more hours and get to feeling better.  I assume my adrenaline runs out and the attack is over.

When I first started to go to AA, I worried there wouldn't be enough meetings to go to everyday.  I had grand plans of ninety meetings in ninety days.  So far the meetings have materialized.  The Internet is great for finding them.  I am making about one meeting a day.  And they have gone so far in helping my moods and my outlook on life.  I feel like I am growing and maturing as a sober alcoholic in AA.  I sat in an early morning meeting this morning and felt so at home.  I had to leave early because my panic set in.  At least I went and tried. 

Sorry I don't feel like writing much lately.  My posts have been short and to the point.  I will spend the rest of the day with my finger's crossed hoping another attack won't start.  I will smoke copious amounts of cigarettes and drink diet 7UP -- my only comforts.  Well, I am off to fend off that roulette that is these attacks for the day.  Thanks for reading and thanks for all the comments.   You are so appreciated.    


Tory said...

Hang in there Andrew. You are doing great! You've been through this before and you always got through and you will again. I'm rooting for you every day.
Hugs and Hi to Maggie

Brad said...

I'm glad you made it to the meeting bud - and that it help a bit. I wish I had some good advice but I don't - I'm think about you brother.