Sunday, May 25, 2008


It is 5 AM in the morning.  I am up for a brief cigarette and soda break.  Maggie is lying on the bed and preening.  Soon, the magical hour will start.  The magical hour is when the world awakes for another day.  The birds begin to call and the squirrels stir.  It is a special time most notable during my camping days.   When I was homeless, this foretold sunlight on the way, and sunlight meant warmth and rebirth.  Like a phoenix from the ashes I would arise from my drunken stupor of the previous night to begin anew.

7 PM today is an AA speaker's meeting over at the meeting hall.  I look forward to seeing Phillip, Carl, and the others.  As they say in AA, "It works if you work it!"  Hopefully, I can pour my heart and soul into AA in the next few weeks.  We will see what a difference it can have in my life.   

1 comment:

justLacey said...

I think you will find that the more you interact with a social network outside of work, the less anxiety will present itself eventually. My panic attacks started when I moved away from home at 20 and was alone a lot at nightr and on weekends. I was also living in an apartment where I was farther away from my family so I didn't visit them as much. At the time I couldn't see why this would cause them, but as I got a little older and farther from having them it made perfect sense to me. I think you are just alone too much as well as lonely. Especially since Rosa is gone. I always think the more friends you can make the better. You never know who they might introduce you too.