I awoke uncommonly early this morning. Maggie and me were embroiled in a tug of war over bed real estate. I would move her over to the edge of the bed only to awake an hour later with her hogging the whole bed again. She finally retired to the couch, but I was up.
Talked to Rosa again last night. I am not getting my hopes up, but it looks promising about us getting back together. I was careful to keep the conversation to mainly about her and not me and my unorthodox life. The situation between me and my father drives her crazy, and I don't blame her. I am 36 years old and should be more independent. I kind of happen to like my life lately and so I don't complain. This infuriates her even more.
Last night, I went to my first AA meeting in awhile. It was a speakers meeting and I was unimpressed. The speaker we had was disjointed and nervous. Phillip, the local patriarch, was glad to see me though.
"I know your sober and miserable," he told me.
I was like ???.
"We see a lot of sober people who are not working their programs and are faltering."
I didn't argue and played stupid and cheerful. That is going to be my new modus operandi: stupid and cheerful.
This morning I am jonesing for more Benadryl. Dad will leave for work at 8:45 AM. I will drive over to ask Mom for two dollars. That will buy me a 48 pill pack at Fred's down the street from my parent's house. I know I shouldn't take so much, but that is the one thing I have found that calms my nerves and makes me feel comfortable. Some people have coffee, others have alcohol, I have my Soma errr Benadryl.