Saturday, May 3, 2008

Flush...

My face feels flush.  My arms begin to tingle and go numb.  I rush to the bed to lie down.  Thus starts another panic attack.  An experience that is excruciating and painful.  It takes about 3 hours to pass as I lay on the bed with a dry throat feeling like I can't swallow.  My eyes dart around the room as black dots appear frantically trying to focus on something real.  The need to urinate is overwhelming.  Everything looks dirty and I panic at guests coming meaning my father.  Is it my schizophrenia?  Or just a simple panic attack?  I don't know.

I pleaded with the powers that be that I will have no more.  3 days.  3 days without an attack.  I almost feel normal again.  I've cut out caffeine and all other stimulants.  I miss the caffeine the most, though.  That surge of energy late in the afternoon.  The heightened focus.  That razor sharp ability to get things done.  I miss this ability far less than I do those damned attacks, though. 

14 comments:

Irishcoda said...

I hope you don't have any more of these horrible panic attacks now that you've cut out caffeine. I have panic attacks, they're in remission, so I know how debilitating they are. Hang in there...

mosiacmind said...

Hang in there..I know for me sometimes it helps me if I can sit outside but at times even that sometimes it makes them worse. I need to cut back on caffeine but i am drinking far less than it has been

M said...

hm. i think i get panic attacks too. maybe not quite as bad. they are scary! take care.

Irishcoda said...

Hi again, Andrew, thanks so much for your comment and for your support! It really helps a lot if we can be there for each other! :)

PseudoPiskie said...

I'm afraid my cats wouldn't be of any help at all with panic attacks. They rarely let me touch them. How does Maggie react?

Thanks for visiting by blog.

justLacey said...

Oh, I'm sorry you hare having so many lately, but perhaps this means they are slowing dow. 3 days without one and might be 5 next and then none for a while. Hang in there, I know it sucks.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

Two thoughts...

1. Do you currently take any "diazepam -like" medications? They can often cause panic attacks and could be a culprit perhaps.

2. Perhaps you are relying too heavily on benadryl and your panic attacks are a result of benadryl withdrawl? It seems that you take a fairly hefty dosage of benadryl at times so it is just a thought.

3. In regards to relief... have you been drinking adequate fluids yesterday and today? The more fluids you drink the more you will flush out the stress hormones (epinephrine and norephinephrine) that cause the panic attack. By drinking SIGNIFICANTLY more fluids, you may be able to flush enough of the hormones out that you do not suffer the attacks.

Hope this helps, sir.

PipeTobacco

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

Obviously, I should have said "three thoughts" in my above comment.

PipeTobacco

Cheryl said...

I'm so glad your last few days have been panic-free. What a relief! You will conquer them you know. You'll learn ways to push them away. I hope it's soon.

I'd love to see how the pecans form and mature. Could you take pictures? Were the berries in that one post pecan berries?

I'm having a quiet night at home. I'll post soon, I promise.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

awwwwww Andrew, that's awful! I hope you're feeling better now? To have one that lasts that long, I feel for you my dear friend! I hope today is just a relaxing day for you without any drama to get anything internally flowing. :(

THinking of you..I hope you feel better soon!
Always,
Elizabeth

simonsays said...

Good Sunday Morning to you Andrew. I wish for you a peaceful and happy day, today.

:)

EE said...

I think I'm on the verge of a P.A. this morning. I know I've got to cut out caffeine, but it's so dang hard.
I just feel so dang weird.

Portia said...

The Feeling Good Handbook has a chapter on panic attacks. I have no idea if the methods in that chapter are effective, but I found other parts of the book, although very simple, to be helpful to me. I would think it would be worth a look if you could find it at the library. Just a thought:)

Grof said...

Look What I Found...Preview These Gorgeous Beauties ... CLICK HERE