Sunday, May 4, 2008

Chill in the Air...

It is cloudy and overcast this morning.  There is a chill in the air.  I even went so far as to turn on the heat inside my home to 78.  I like it warm.  Much of the country has seen chilly weather this spring.  Just this week it snowed in Utah.  There was snow on the blossoms.  We can't even get snow in the dead of winter that is February. 

I've been thinking a lot about Ferret and Big S.  I talked to Rosa again this morning and she told me, "That Ferret is crazy as hell."  I laughed cause he is.  I long to hang out with my friends, but know it is not for the best.  I just can't be around all that drinking and carrying on.  Still, I long to hang out down at the shopping center and to pass the time (so key!).  I've spent far too much time on this computer lately.  I have even thought of taking up panhandling to get up some extra money.  It sucks not having money all the time.  I know no other means. 

"You would make a terrible panhandler," Rosa told me when I mentioned it.


"You're too nice," she said. "You would give the money back."

I broke out in laughter. She is probably right.  I have always had a soft heart and hate to impose. 

"You need to talk to your father and get him to stop that crazy withholding of money from you," Rosa then told me.

Oh no! Not this again, I moaned in my mind. 

Rosa didn't speak of it for long and I refrained from commenting.  I didn't want to get in all that this morning.  Rosa forgets I voluntarily gave up the money this time.  It is my own fault. 


justLacey said...

I thought your dad was willing to start the money again. If you think you are ready, mention it to him. Start small and budget it to last through the week. You're entitled to some fun.

Anonymous said...

You won't know if your ready to handle your own money till you give it a try....I believe you can do it...

C.A. said...

I'm sorry it's a blah day for you today, Andrew. I hope you decide against pan handling. No matter what way you obtain money, it is your CHOICE what you do with it. It's also your choice how you obtain it. I look at your sobriety counter and have so much faith in you and your ability to make the right choices, and that makes me even more proud of how far you've come, my friend. Forward motion every day is what it's all about, even if it's only millimeters, LOL.

Hugs to you and Miss Maggie...


PipeTobacco said...


I concur. I think you should have some of your own money (actually I think you should have it all, but that is even farther into the future I suppose).

You are very strong and I think you have the ability to successfully do whatever you wish to do. I think you can go hang with your friends at the store, or go to the library, or work on trains, etc. You sometimes, I fear, sell your own abilities far too short. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Moderation in all things is key!

Your friend,


Cheryl said...

You mentioned a new bike in a recent post. Have you been riding it? I think of blowing up my tires and tooling around. I used to ride 10 miles a day if you can believe that. I used to be so proud. I rode for months then gave it up for good for no reason at all. I just thought riding might be a good way for you to pass some time. Did it warm up today? It's in the 70's here, very sunny and breezy with no humidity. This kind of day is such a joy. I hope your day has been a good one.

Anonymous said...

Here's a thought: Start with a small daily allowance, such as $5. That way, you will have a little money to spend each day without being overwhelmed with responsibility. You have proven time and again in the past that you are responsible when you have occassionally had $5, $10,even $20 in your pocket. I think it would be a good step in the right direction for you!

SOUL: said...

maybe you could just ask your dad for a bit of whats yours, before makingthe step--umm jump-- to panhandling.??
maybe a 20? to get by with?

i do know how hard is to manage money, and if that's why you let him hold it for you that's great, but i don't see why he would have a problem giving you a bit at a time, or even paying out your bills, before he gives you what's left??
i'm sure you could work something out that seems more comfortable for you?

anyhow--have a great day brotha-- thanks for your comments lately--

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