"Why did you leave me?" I asked Rosa over the phone a moment ago.
She had called me to ask about some things she needed to pick up. Toiletries and what-nots.
"I've already told you," she said. "And besides... It will just hurt your feelings again. You are so sensitive."
"Was it my lack of money?"
"It was your overbearing family!" Rosa blurted out. "It is just not natural. You are 36 years old. Your father creeps me out. They are controlling you and you don't see it."
She was right. It did hurt my feelings. My love was torn for my family and for her. We talked for awhile longer until I said goodbye. I wanted to sit quietly and have a pity party. I have missed her so much lately. I have missed just having anyone. Rosa was always so forgiving of my unorthodox life. I guess she had finally had enough. A person can only take so much.
I honestly don't know how to go about changing my life without destroying the relationship with my father. He now has a hand in every aspect of my life just like my mother.
And you know what? I have a pretty good life as well to be honest. I don't have a lot of pressure on me. All my physical needs are met. I have a part time job that is very forgiving. I have plenty of time for the other love of my life, the Internet. I will just have to decide to forgivingly live with the status quo or unleash the maelstrom of change that would be me trying to reinvent myself. Freedom can come at a very dear cost at times.