Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Billy Boy...

I called in sick to work and went for a long meandering walk.  The end of my walk found me at the AA meeting hall by my grandmother's house.  I recognized the person moving the grass as Billy.  He saw me and immediately turned off the mower.

"Where have you been?" he said very heartfelt.

"I don't have any money for the donation basket so I haven't been coming," I replied.

"You sober still?"

"Over 150 days," I replied.

I was so lonely.  I was just overjoyed to see Billy and just have someone to talk to.  I've felt so poorly today.  We talked a long time about how AA in the Valley has been floundering.  He urged me to come and to forget about the donations.

"Thursday night is a meeting!" he said.

"I will think about it," I replied as I walked off and he went back to mowing the grass.

I plan on going if I feel better.  First, I have to get over the guilt of calling in sick to work.  Then, get over these damned anxiety attacks.  I just didn't feel able to drive when I get like this.    


barefoot 303 said...

Hey, don't stress yourself over calling in sick. It sounds like you needed the time off and from what you write, it seems the employees at the Pharmacy would totally understand. No one would want you to drive if you don't feel able. I think it was a very responsible and adult decision not to go in. You need to take care of you for you to be able to help others.
Best of luck and I agree that you should try to forget about the donations and go to the meeting. Might help just to be in the presence of others and hear their tales.
I do hope you get to feeling better.

justLacey said...

Today was just a bad day. Happens to all of us. Tomorrow will be better. Get some rest and relax.

Judy said...

We ALL need our mental health days. You have to do what you have to do to be ok.

Tiffanie said...

The donation is an option and not a requirement.

mosiacmind said...

Hi Andrew...first off I am really glad that you took care of yourself today...everyone needs mental health days even people who do not struggle like we do. I think that it was as I call a God thing for you to get to talk wtih Billy.
Panic Attacks are hard to deal with..I have not had one in a few weeks but know how fierce and nerve wracking that they can be. I hope that you take really great care of yourself always yet especially now.You are in my thoughts often....I do care friend.......