Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Short Goodbye

Joni Mitchell's Shine was playing in my computer room as me and Rosa sat in my den and discussed "things".  I've known this has been coming for awhile so was not surprised.

"Let's spend some time apart," Rosa told me sounding so cliched as we drank our coffee.

I watched longingly as she got in her car and left -- an empty coffee mug the only thing betraying her presence.  It was as if a vast gaping hole opened up in my heart.  I knew this was coming, though.  I am just too limited because of my station in life.  Mental illness.  No money to hardly do anything.  I don't blame her for spreading her wings and soaring to greener pastures. She has a car now.  A part time job.  She will soon have a new apartment.  I guess there was just no place to put the relic of a boyfriend that was me. 

17 comments:

impromptublogger said...

{{{{Andrew}}}} I'm sorry that Rosa feels she needs some time apart. Remember that last time it was you who decided you needed the separation so I wouldn't be surprised that in the end you'll be back together - this time for good.

So take the time apart to be totally selfish - have fun with your train magazines and railroading, take Maggie for long walks. Do things for yourself and know that she still loves you.

justLacey said...

Impromptublogger is right. Soon you will be in the same position, with your own money and job. Just a matter of a little more time. Don't give up. Rosa will realize that too. Who knows who else may come into your life now that you are out and about.

robcaddi said...

I'm sorry. I know that hurts.
Hugs.
Diana

jane said...

though it hurts, sometimes a little time apart can really help clarify things. but i'm sorry if you're feeling bad. thinking of you,
jane

p.s. love the model railroading!

mosiacmind said...

i know that it hurts. i think in relationships that time apart can really show each person what he or she needs and wants in the relationship. I think it is good that you are sharing so I know for me it hurts less at times when I know that other people know what is going on with me and that they care and I know that I care and so do lots of other blogger buddies.

joyous melancholy said...

I'm so sorry. It's not any easier when you know it's coming, either. I hope that this is a good thing for both of you. I agree with impromtublogger - spend some time on yourself, and never forget that you're moving in the right direction yourself. You have a job, you're feeling better than you have in a long time, you have a house... And who knows? I once spent time apart from a guy I was dating, and we're very happily married now. The future is full of surprises, some of them even happy ones.

Barb said...

I would be sad, but I suggest that you dont personalize her decision. For whatever reason she needs some autonomy, she will need you to welcome her back soon. Keep your wings open and dont spend time finding fault. I am sorry for your pain. Work will put a smile and busy back into your world.

CJM-R said...

I am sorry Andrew.

But,you are moving forward, too. Time will tell what comes next for you in terms of relationships.

I agree with the above posts, sometimes a break is needed.

Lena

clarekin said...

I am so sorry Andrew. That just sucks. But, like others have said, sometimes a break is needed. Take this time to be wholly invested in yourself.

Ariel

Caroline said...

I'm sorry sweet pea.

Cheryl said...

'Some time apart' doesn't mean it's over, does it? Your life has really expanded, and hers is doing the same. Maybe your relationship will just be different.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Sorry. :-(

Mostly for her.... I think she's stronger when she's with you, but doesn't realize it.

Jessica said...

Aww, that's tough Andrew. :( I'm so sorry.

Karin's Korner said...

I am sorry to hear about you and Rosa. Do you think that maybe Rosa wants more? I know that she has talked about marriage etc. and maybe just maybe she wants something a little more permanent. Just a thought, nothing for sure.

Sharyna said...

Sorry about you and Rosa. If I lived closer, I'd make you a cheesecake. That's how I used to mourn breakups, cheesecake and dieing my hair red. We're here for you.

sharyna

Portia said...

this could just be a phase in your relationship. some of them are harder than others, that's for sure. i hope you are staying busy and focusing on what is best for YOU:)

Tee said...

I am so sorry. I agree with Cheryl's comment.