Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Candle Flame and the Burned Finger...

It only takes once as a child to forever associate a burning open flame with pain by poking an exposed finger too near.  Then why can't I learn this simple lesson as an adult?  I keep looking in on the blog written by an arrogant ne'er do well that just happens to be homeless.  He consistently pisses me off with the misinformation he is spouting to his 300 something readers.   I should quit reading, right?  I should just be glad he is no longer writing to thousands.  I keep sticking my finger into the flame and getting burned again and again, though.  It brings out an ugly, mean side of me that I don't like to experience -- a virulent spiteful little petulant being intent on proving this voluntarily homeless person wrong.  Five long years I have been doing this with the same net result: I get burned and feel badly about it.  It ruins my evening and gives him all the power.  Who is the idiot here?  ME!  


Jessica said...

oh, Andrew you're not an idiot.:( Life is full of stuff like this. I think it's just human nature. Even when we get so called "burned" by something if it intrigues or stimulates us positively in any way we keep going back. Human nature... simple as that.

I've been thinking a lot about addiction lately. (Funny how you wrote about it tonight bc I am formulating ideas for writing about it myself.)

Anyway, I've realized that addiction comes in so many forms. Not just narcotics,alcohol, etc.

It is almost like an keep going back to get burned. I think like any other addiction willpower is the key here. Does that make sense?

Sorry, I sort of went off on a tangent there. :) It's just I've been thinking about this stuff all day.

If it makes no sense...just disregard please. lol

Have a good night,

Barb said...

on the bright side: 103d 20h 30m 50s

We are pavlovian creatures, remember that! Be easier on your self~


villain820 said...

I would not be to hard on yourself. We all get burned once in awhile. Anyone who cares takes that chance.

Josie Two Shoes said...

You are definitely not an idiot, Andrew. It takes intelligence to see thru the BS on his blog. But I agree with your reasoning that visiting it, knowing you will be annoyed and rejected, is akin to playing with fire and equally as uncomfortable. Maybe it's time to delete the link and replace it with someone more positive and believable!

Vans said...

Andrew, you are far from an idiot. You are a very intelligent person with a huge heart. I certainly wouldn't worry about what the homeless guy is blogging about. If he's full of crap, then most people will realize that. After you posted about his pitbull bloggings, I checked it out for myself and found that he does, indeed, spew forth nothing more than insightful bullsh*t. I too, wanted to comment on his pitbull blogs and found that I couldn't because he had disabled that feature. The mere fact that he will not allow people to post truth on his blogs makes him the idiot...NOT YOU!!!

Congratulations on your 100+ days sober! Props to you. Good luck in continuing to stay sober. I can only hope that I'm as successful as you have been come Thursday when I smoke my last cigarette.

Enjoy the weather and have fun!


justLacey said...

I had that same problem, but have freed myself from thatr person. You will too!

Tee said...

You are not an idiot! Just delete him from your favorites. Make it a little harder to get to the website. :-)