Monday, February 4, 2008

Shacking Up

Laid in the bed last night talking to Rosa on the phone.  She was having a topsy-turvy night -- there is always some drama going on with her and her daughter.   We eventually got on the subject of marriage which frightens the bejeebus out of me. 

"Could you see us married?" she asked.

"I can't even afford a pack of cigarettes, and you want to ask about marriage?" was my callous and terse reply for which I later apologized. 

I told her we would discuss this down the road when my finances are more stable and secure.  I still have a lot of growing and maturing to do before I take that big leap into the abyss that is Holy Matrimony.  I don't want to take that leap of faith blindly and without A LOT of sobriety under my belt. 

Dr. Laura would call Rosa an unpaid whore -- her sleeping over here many nights.  We are "shacking up" in the eyes of the not so humble psychologist.  I could also tell Dr. Laura she needs to eat a cheeseburger or two.  It reminds me of that old saying to not throw stones in glass houses.  


simonsays said...

Ah Andrew, I had to laugh at this...ya gotta love Dr Laura, or kill her! And yes, I happen to agree, she does need to eat a cheesburger or two..

Have a goo day today. :)

Summer said...

Dr. Laura is an idiot. She makes money by instilling fear and guilt in those that pay any amount of attention to her. Living off people's insecurities about themselves.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

whoa! marriage already!
The people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Im very glad you two are getting along, but don't feel pressures to be married, or anything else for that matter. The only advantage over here is inheritance tax for property, and some other tax relief.
I think its a bit premature to be discussing such a significant step. over here cohabitees now have legal rights over separation issues, so even if you just live together, a split divides assets of the home lived in. I have no idea what the legal implication are over there.
yeah it sounded like you reacted a bit there, but theres no harm in saying that, yes bringing up the subject of marriage at this stage of affairs seems pretty annoying for many reasons, because it seems very presumptuous so early on to assume such a permanent step would be advantageous for both of you, and also because it implies that marriage is of itself, a contemporarily relevant institution. which it might not be.
hmm. the bottom line is don't feel pressured or guilt tripped into anything. Im not a great believer in marriage, although I think it can work if people are brave enough to go into it with 'open eyes', and have enough strength of character to not exploit weaknesses in the arrangement, once they start experiencing problems with the other.
ah well. i am sure you will work it out. thanks for sharing.

forsythia said...

You and Rosa are consenting adults. Keep Dr. Laura out of your bedroom.

forsythia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharyna said...

Rosa is not an "unpaid whore", she is your SO (significant other). She has her own place and money and can sleep where ever she likes.


Bridget said...

Ditto to what Sharyna posted. I am NOT a big fan of Dr. Laura AT ALL. That woman has mucho coyones to judge others by her twisted ideas of morality when she was caught having posed topless some years back (remember that scandal?). I'm not a fan of radio and TV psychologists in general, but if I have to pick one that I think has a lick of sense, it would either be John Gray (Mars & Venus) or Dr. Phil. This is 2008, not 1888. You two are consenting adults that respect each other, so I see no problem with your relationship. And as far as marriage, you are SMART to think it through and be able to say that it's too soon to talk about it. That's way smarter than the alternative (jumping in and then realizing a few months into it that you made a mistake). Too many people jump into marriage because it's the "right" thing to do...and then have bigger problems because of it. Bravo for you for thinking about all angles and enjoying your day to day for now!

Amy Palko said...

OK, I have no idea who Dr Laura is, but through this post and the comments left here, I wouldn't give her opinion the time of day. Incidentally, in Scots dialect, we'd call Rosa your "bidey in", pronounced "buy-dee in". About 50 years ago, it would have been scandalous to live with your lover, whereas now, it's common practice.
But you know what, labels are so degrading. You and Rosa are, as we all are, so much more than just a label. You are your own unique selves.
Lives Less Ordinary

Anonymous Boxer said...

Ask Dr. Laura about her Mother and Son, too... she's not perfect, none of us are. You and Rosa are adults who are allowed to live whatever life you desire. You two seem to have a balanced relationship.

Lady Elaine said...


I must agree with the rest. Dr. Laura is a bigot and should be taken off the air. Rosa is simply the woman who you are sharing your heart with. No one has any right to say anything negative about any positive emotion between two people. The following is a cute ( I thought) response to Dr. Laura when she was trying to crucify the gay population. Apologies for the length of this post.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,

J. Kent Ashcraft

justLacey said...

Didn't Dr. Laura have some nudie pictures surface in the internet? What does God say about that>