Thursday, February 7, 2008


Rosa and I were sitting on the couch.  She was watching some banal television show.

"What are you going to do in nine months?" she asked me.

"Would do you mean?" I asked.

"Your disability will run out and you will have no way to pay for your medications."

"I am hoping they will have a pay-to-stay-in plan I can utilize," I replied.

"What about your Dad and the medications?"

"We will still be able to do that," I told her. "Work will start at 11 PM eastern time.  They are on central time."

"What if you have one of your panic attacks?"

"Then I will just breath deep and take a break.  Probably go have a cigarette."

"I am just scared for you," Rosa told me. "I just don't want things to get messed up."

"And that's why I love you," I said. "You genuinely care about me."

Rosa is in the kitchen now making some supper.  We are having cubed steak, creamed potatoes, and creamed corn.  The smells are wonderful.  I realize there are so many questions to me returning to work.  I can understand Rosa's concern.  It is going to be okay, though.  I will know in a few weeks if I will be able to continue. 


Sharyna said...

A lot of us care about you. But I'm not worried that you can't do this, cuz you can.


Judy Rahn said...

with the pittance the McDonalds will pay you, no way will your SSDI run out anythime soon. We on SSDI can make up to like, $640/month (by 2007 standard) with no repercussions. Any month you make more is considered a 'trial work month' of which you are allowed 9--and they don't have to be consecutive. As for Rosa's concerns and what ifs, take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. It's not just for AA, you know!

Social Skills said...

It is possible to learn how to cope with panic attacks with a lot of hard work and perseverance. You can check out, they have all the information that you will need about panic attacks. It definitely helped me, and I can see an improvement in my condition already.