Sunday, February 24, 2008

Proselytizing the Beast

I leaned forward interested the other night when Rosa was watching the A & E channel.  The show Intervention was on and they were featuring a young man addicted to DMX, a common ingredient to cough medicine and cough and cold pills.   He was taking up to thirty pills a day to get his fix.  

"That's going to be me," I moaned to Rosa. "If I don't quit taking Benadryl."

Rosa raised an eyebrow and went back to reading her People magazine while watching.  "You can't get addicted to allergy medicine," she said. 

Today was the first time I realized I was addicted because I started to think up plots and lies to tell my mother to buy a pack of the one dollar pills.  "Mom?  Can I get a dollar to go to AA tonight?" was my favorite line and one that would have worked if I used it.  Benadryl is $1.09 with tax for 24 pills over at Fred's dollar store. 

"Dammit!" I cursed loudly as I stood up amidst my scheming.  "You can get addicted to anything.  You are fucking pitiful."

I wanted to break down in sobs at having found myself addicted to yet one more substance, although a Benadryl addiction is mild in all regards when compared to alcohol.  An addiction it is, none-the-less.

The cure?  Cold turkey just like quitting smoking and a renewed focus on 12-step meetings.  I am going to miss those pills, though.  Taking six was like taking a handful of valium.  They were so comforting and calming.   


Golden To Silver Val said...

Andrew, I'm glad you now realize what you are doing to your system by taking so many. Sad to say, anything that makes you feel dreamy and without a care, is certainly addictive. Have you researched herbal remedies? St. John's Wort seems to help my son. I have also heard good things about Kava Kava but haven't purchased any. Do some research online and see which could help you....and remember that too much of ANYTHING is addictive. Kudos to you, Andrew, for doing what's best for you...and for keeping that counter moving. Hugs.

villain820 said...

Do not beat yourself up so much. You are dealing with a lot and have come so far. Give some of that compassion and caring that you give to Joyce to yourself you deserve it.

summer said...

Morning Sweets. Benadryl itself is not physically addicting, but, you can become dependent on it if you have an addictive personality. I don't want to scare you but, too much of an antihistimine can cause urinary retention, which in turn could lead to a neurogenic bladder and lordy! you don't want that to happen. Please be careful.

I can't wait to see pictures of your trains.

Cheri said...

Long time reader, first time de-lurker. You are an addict, so ANYTHING that gets you even somewhat "high" is going to be a problem. I love Benedryls, they make me feel a little cloudy & woozy and we addicts love that feeling. Also, people like us are always in our own brains. Stuff like Benedryl helps us to get out of our brains so we can do stuff more easily like, oh, sleep.

At least you realized it and are doing something to stop it, you should be very proud of your recover so far. I've known for quite awhile that my partying is out of hand and, yet, I don't stop.

My blog is if you ever care to read about what I mean about MY personal experience with this. Love your blog, keep up the good work you've been doing, seriously.

mosiacmind said...

hey andrew wanted to share some stuff that might be tmi for a comment on your blog so will most likely email you sometime today or tonight.....i understand as you know what you are going through.