Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Day After...

I sat down for hours at the shopping center this morning.  It was an overcast day, but warm.  Big S was sitting next to me and not talking.  We were both quiet today.  I looked on earnestly as people shopped.  I almost expected George to come driving up at any moment.  I miss that old codger. 

"Looks like it is going to rain," I mumbled to Big S.

"Uh-huh," Big S grunted quietly. 

Big S is the poster boy for being content with what you have.  He does little, but sit down here everyday to escape his sister and her toddler children.  That old saying "a bump on a log" comes to mind.  I sat until our lack of conversation grew uncomfortable and I left.  I got in my car and drove through town enjoying a short jaunt. 

Rosa has her car.  It is an older model Toyota Corolla with some miles on it.  It runs perfectly, though, and the air conditioner blows freezing cold air.  She is so proud and I am excited for her.  She drove to her first NA meeting last night down in Auburn.  I worried about her driving so late in the evening, but she did fine.  She wants to try other and more interesting meetings.  Another chapter in my and Rosa's lives unfolds with her getting this car.  You won't catch me riding with her, though.  She is a scary driver! LOL 


Marsha said...

You are not like the homeless guy. He uses his self made problems to use people. He's a liar.

You are a man trapped in a system in which you cannot get out without someeone ON YOUR SIDE to help you. Unfortunately your father doesn't seem to be that person.

You say you're trying to be content with what you have. That's impossible without freedom. The choices in your life should be yours unless you are at risk to harm yourself or others, end of story.

Freedom is your right...it's what you deserve. You are human...you will never be content living in the "cage" your father has built around you.

A caged animal lacks for nothing Andrew, but he still needs to be free. Maybe your father thinks he's helping youb but he's not. He's dictating to you what you need to do without walking a mile in your shoes. Has he ever gone with you anywhere to get help? Has he ever encouraged you to co to counseling or SAT through a session with you? He should be taking steps to help you obtain control over your life. Not trying to keep things in place to make his job easier.

I will continue to pray for you.

Marsha said...

please excuse my typos...trying to type in the dark. :)

mago said...

I know well what you mean by "not riding with her" ... I am a terrible passenger.
I have no idea about the financial side of you goin' to work or not. And I do not care. Following your writing I saw how you got the idea, worked on it and finally put it in reality. I read your blog for some time now and there were other, much more passive times here too. You changed, you made progress. No more running away, no hiding. And 84 is great.
And do not worry about Rosa driving to the sea - she'll get along well.