Monday, February 4, 2008

Back to Step One

I sheepishly walked into Goodwill filled with social anxiety.

"Do y'all except volunteers?" I asked the brusque cashier, mustering up all my will.

"Check with the manager. In the back. To your left," she told me as she pointed.

Sadly, the manager told me they didn't have a volunteer program. He was a frumpy looking fellow about my father's age.  He was actually more interested in browsing the Internet and I had disturbed him.  Pfttt!  I let him get back to browsing. 

The library was just across the highway through a red light.  I pulled into the parking lot and panicked.  I have never seen so many people.  The library parking lot was full and people were parading in and out.  My social anxieties got the best of me and hightailed it to home.  But I did stop by my father's pharmacy to check on that computer he wanted to give me.  ANCIENT.  WINDOWS 98.  LOL  I couldn't use it, but I prostrated myself to him, telling him how thankful I was for the offer.  Mistakenly,  Dad thought he was giving me some grand piece of computer machinery which made me feel bad when I told him it was too old -- older than the ancient backup computer I am using to write this. 

I am now waiting on 5:30 to get here for my 6 PM AA meeting in Lagrange.  It is a thirty minute drive up there.  I am lamenting the amount of gas these AA trips are taking and lamenting even more the fact that AA in the Valley is essentially dead. 

This is where my phone phobias trip me up.  Step two should be to harangue vocational rehabilitation till I get some progress.  Call the numbers.  Set up appointments.  Be proactive instead of reactive.  I've really got to get on the ball with rehab.  I am just worried because I missed that lady who came to the Valley and hospital that they won't help me.  I need all the help I can get these days.  If McDonald's won't hire me with glaring "Now Hiring" signs out front, then I don't know who will.  


Sharyna said...

Don't worry! Good things come to those who wait!


Sharyna said...

In reponse to one of your twitters. Do not get or even dream of getting a Dell charge. It's 29.99% interest and I'll be paying for this one long after it's gone...


darla said...

Andrew, I totally understand your social/phone anxieties. I'm the same way! It's hard for me to tell you to "just do it" when I can't do it either. But I hope you're stronger than I am, and that you'll find a way to overcome the anxiousness.

justLacey said...

I have a resume filled with experience and I can't get hired either. Hang in there and keep on plugging along. Be glad you don't need the job to pay bills. I do and I can assure you my anxiety level is rising.