At an AA meeting the other night, someone said something to me that has stuck with me for days. "Go to any lengths for your sobriety," they said. "You would go to any lengths to get drunk and you need the same obsession and passion when staying sober and going to AA meetings." I've thought about that often in the preceding days.
I am lazy tonight. Rosa is over and cooking hotdogs for supper. I want to just "veg" out and do nothing. I want to sit in front of this computer and compulsively check The Homeless Guy's blog twenty times to only find the same post from last Monday. It is comforting and normal.
Go to any lengths for your sobriety.
This is when I need to wrestle my obsessive/compulsiveness into something positive like my brother and sister did with theirs to become doctors. To drive that long drive to Lagrange and sit an hour for a meeting even though I don't want to go. To go without a cigarillo for an hour even though it is uncomfortable. To deal with the social anxiety of having so many strange and unfamiliar souls around me. I need to go to any lengths for my sobriety and that means getting off my ass and dragging it to a meeting. It means getting a shower and shaving, and putting on some presentable clothes instead of these worn old cotton t-shirts and pull up shorts I wear around the house most days. I've got two hours to muster up the gumption to go. Let's hope I do something positive with this evening instead of sitting in front of this damned computer like I normally do.